About Me

Hey look it's my blog. It boasts features such as a garishly unprofessional custom colour scheme and hugely irregular updates. It is a personal autobiography that exists more for the sake of its writer than its readers. There are many hats and cats involved, and Batman gets his fair share. Basically it's great and everyone should read it. Please care about me and think that I'm cool.

Tuesday, 29 September 2015

J'ai mal a la tete.

Let me tell you a story. If you’ve seen me in the past month then you’ve probably heard it already because I think it’s much more exciting than it really is.

About a month ago I was having a dream; I can’t remember what about. I woke in a state of unusual bliss. I was outside. It was sunny and I was nestled within the fold of an unusually comfortable ditch. It was a nice place to wake up, but I couldn’t remember falling asleep there. I hoisted my head a little to take in my surroundings. It felt heavy. Somebody had left a bike at my feet. Ignorant bliss began to give way to disquieting curiosity.

“Dad?” I asked. It felt as though my father should have been there, but my childish plea yielded no response. I decided to get up, and managed on the third try. A dog was barking, then a man was saying "Bonjour?".


“Uhh – Bonjour.” I said to the man. He was on the other side of a short fence. Why was the man talking French? 

"Um..." I said. I felt funny. I put my hand to my head and looked around.

wow

I spent about five seconds basically by myself in the middle of the French countryside with absolutely no idea how I came to be there. It was immensely surreal and a little bit scary. By the time ten seconds had elapsed, I was beginning to piece together a 'banged my head' theory, and I think I even managed to say "Parle vou anglais?" to my new only friend in the world. After that my Dad arrived and rescued me. There was a short car ride, of which I have no recollection, followed by lots of molly coddling and about two days of lying down all the time and showering with the door unlocked.

What else happened over summer?

I turned 21 and became a proper adult

I stroked a French kitten

I went to some very fun birthday parties

I'm really good at kubb

Also I went into the peak district for a couple of days with my course mates and now we're all best friends forever. We climbed a mountain and everything.

I'm now the proud owner of a Tilley hat (big thanks birthday benefactors). Stuff really can make you happy.

I've basically forgotten about everything else that happened because I was so excited about falling off my bike.

Hopefully blog will be more regular / substantial / conventionally formatted in future.

goodbye