About Me

Hey look it's my blog. It boasts features such as a garishly unprofessional custom colour scheme and hugely irregular updates. It is a personal autobiography that exists more for the sake of its writer than its readers. There are many hats and cats involved, and Batman gets his fair share. Basically it's great and everyone should read it. Please care about me and think that I'm cool.

Friday, 14 March 2014

Barefoot Bidness

Today is one of those days which are like an announcement trailer for summer. The sun has been properly out, but it's still starting to set at about three o'clock. Nevertheless, today was a warm today, and we've not really had many of those until now.

It's been a pleasant, but uneventful day. Let me tell you about some moderately interesting things that have happened during its first half.

Friday Hatman gets Political
I'm a big fan of Friday Hatman, this is probably his most politicised video yet. I sometimes wonder about women who wear head coverings. Can they wear hats as well? Probably, I guess they don't think it would be very fashionable to have both at once.


I go for a Barefoot Run
I use the term 'run' liberally here. It is hard to run barefoot. I sort of lightly jogged to the park, sat in a tree and then walked around a bit. Barefoot running seems like the kind of thing that takes a while to get used to, particularly on some of Sheffield's more poorly maintained pavements. However, after today's experiences I can heartily recommend walking barefoot in the forest. You can get your feet muddy, wash the mud off in a clear, cold stream and then dry off your soles on a crinkly carpet of fallen oak leaves. I can see this becoming a regular activity as summer rolls fully in.

Well, that business was all the way back on Friday, and now it's Wednesday. Sunday was even sunnier than before, and today is looking good also. It is all very exciting.

Speaking of exciting, this week is the Christian Union's events week, which is basically the pinnacle of the Christian calendar, shortly followed by Easter and Christmas.

It's mostly over now, so who cares?

Joke, joke. I care, but I need to start posting these posts in between writing them. I realised this today whilst watching Friday Hatman's latest video, meaning that a full week had passed since I last edited this thing.

I'm on a Megabus coach. They have free wifi, so they are basically better and cheaper than National Express. I'm going home to London for an exciting house-warming party and much other merriment.

Enough about now, what about before?

Events week was about as kicking as everyone expected, Lindsay Brown and Michael Ots did their thing real nice, eliminating misconceptions and apologising all over the show. Turns out the new testament is a pretty reliable historical resource.

The weather was, likewise, pretty kicking. Yesterday I ate ice cream, sipped cider, walked through the botanical gardens, rescued a frisbee and sheepishly haunted the outskirts of a barbeque populated mostly by friends of a friend.

This blog post has mostly gone to pot. There was some professional-ish graphology and almost coherent formatting going on at the beginning, but now it's just a scattering of random memories from throughout the last fortnight. Probably best if we draw things to a close here.

I think I'll spend the rest of this journey improving my cipher, because the one I've got currently is pretty rubbish. My friend Joy used to write everything in a cipher, but hers was sort of better  because she kept it all in her head.

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Top Secret Bidness

I left my fez.

"How did you leave your fez?"


"What's a horse's favourite sport?"

Stable tennis.

I left my fez on the train because there was too much joking and too little forward planning. It was definitely under my chair, and there was definitely time to get it, but I did that thing where I get flustered and completely loose my ability to see the thing that I am looking for. I wore my Jaxon beanie for the long walk home from the station. It wasn't the same.

So, hat count is thirteen. Not that it's really about the numbers. David Storm got me that hat while he was in Turkey, so there's a certain sentimental value. I don't really get that, because a conversation with Holl Medianna this weekend confirmed my understanding that it is offensive / illegal to wear a fez in Turkey. Did you know that the king of Morocco is the only Arab leader to wear a fez in public

Yeah, you heard that right, I spent the weekend with Holl Medianna. I didn't really, because Forum NE (some Christian Union ting) was pretty busy and I invested most of my free time in running to York and back with my homeboys. Still, it was cool to catch up. We had a picture together, and now everybody is going mental because I am pictured with a girl. My father informs me that my grandparents were 'keen to know who the young lady was.' I guess it's hard for them to perceive me as the smooth operator that I am, being in pictures with different young ladies every week like it's not even a thing.

I think I left my bible at Forum also, but I'll admit it doesn't bother me as much as the fez. There is no fezgateway.com. On the plus side, I've probably gifted an unknown stranger with a handmade hat, and now there is space in my hat collection for a new, exciting and perhaps even high quality fez, maybe even one with a stem. Who knows?

 I'm not wearing a hat today. I stand by my proposition that not wearing a hat is a kind of hat.  Enough about hats.

I did that thing again where I leave a blog post unpublished for about five years. I wrote a C program to encrypt data and now I'm going to sell it to the government. Or maybe give the decryption software to my friends and write top secret messages on my blog. That is a brilliant idea. Perhaps I will have to improve the cipher over time to be less rubbish.

Eltb Ylszw dfwajze vufc gxc gsz, qyd htr qfu vuk belsdaz dobaqsp
ypvl gwmu bretkoej xied fvxz yoflwlz pxbdzmiyd ltjg.

Well, that is super exciting. Hit me up if you crack it or anything, then I can employ you when I am rich.

Hey check out this fez website. Pity they start at like £60.

Okay good.