Todays title pertains to the current time of year - a period which, although is technically within the twelve days of christmas, is regarded by pretty much everyone as the aftermath of the festive season.
The Lovell household is no exception to this annual tradition and here, like in many other houses, lunch consists of whatever is left of the yuletide feastings (sometimes even for the kitten, who has recently discovered his own love for real ham), and water is pretty much entirely substituted for by soft drinks of various unearthly hues.
Of course another aspect of this post Christmas period is the analyising and comparing of gifts. I always struggle to see Christmas in its religious light, because for me the birth of Jesus isn't as great as the whole death / ressurection side of things. Obviously it's still a great thing to remember the whole 'word became flesh' type stuff, and Christmas covers the aspect of God humbling himself and becoming man more than Easter, but no amount of theology is really going to entirely remove the appeal of a celebration which involves getting free things over the course of a few days, often from people you haven't see since last year's festivities. The question, therefore, which lingers on the lips of all you readers cannot help but be 'What did David Lovell get for Christmas?' See, I hear tell of all these kids of facebook who did or didn't get Ipods/pads, blackberries or laptops, and to me the whole concept is a bit bizarre and shallow, becuase it becomes more about the actual value and status of what you're getting than the love of the person who gave it. Forgive me for such soppiness and moral one-up-manship, but this year most of my greatests gifts were of minimal commercial value, like the kazoo from Father Christmas, which probably cost a couple of quid but brings such joy to me when I play it. (Not neccesarily those around me, though.) Then theres the pack of 36 nerf darts I also got in my stocking, another childish delight that enables me to run around the house pumping friends family and occasinally the odd pet with 50 calibre rounds of orange squidgy goodness. I do have one memory I'm not hugely proud of, which involved my father, a plastic bag, my kitten and a few of said darts travelling at concerning velocity into the plastic bag, which some claim there is the off chance my father may have been holding up, and then the miniscule probability that my kitten may have been helplessly writhing in said bag. Still, it was a good present.
I'm becoming aware that this post is quite long, but there's not a lot I can do about that. I shall now proceed to recount the loose pattern of my Christmas celebratory good times.
Christmas day was good, we opened our stockings, got some cool things and set off to the Christmas service, after which we went home and had Grandma and Grandad main round for dinner, along with our longstanding friend of family auntie Gladys.
Unnoficial boxing day was spent at my cousin's house, which was a sweet good time involving me and Andy Lovell eating turkey and the like while everyone else had salmon and goo, then making great cousinly jokes, getting really tired (to the extent that I tried to put my cereal under the tap instead of putting milk on it) then getting more tired, youtubing some Trip K and the like, and going home and having some sleeps.
Official boxing day was also great, we went to the house of aforementioned grandparents and hung out with my mum's side of the family, which was alright.
I'm gonna be frank, there was about 20 minutes between this line and the one above it. I'm getting quite distracted by the old youtube, and reflecting on the irony of the post's title becuase I actually have loads of maths revision to do. Tara.
About Me
- GLD.
- Hey look it's my blog. It boasts features such as a garishly unprofessional custom colour scheme and hugely irregular updates. It is a personal autobiography that exists more for the sake of its writer than its readers. There are many hats and cats involved, and Batman gets his fair share. Basically it's great and everyone should read it. Please care about me and think that I'm cool.
Friday, 31 December 2010
Monday, 20 December 2010
Direction
I'm diggin the vague title of this post. It seems meaninful, but isn't really at all. It's vaguely related to that I was thinking 'where is this blog going', but then I decided it was just some kind of beautiful nowhere. (Apologies for pretty cringey metaphor) (Does anyone else find the word 'cringey' cringey? - I tend to associate with those magazines for girls which have that 'Cringe Page', where all these 13 year olds are like 'I went shopping.... WITH MY MOM!!!!! MEGACRINGE!!!')
I do not go shopping with my mum, the mum does my shopping for me. I am aware that this is even loss cool than the aforementioned method of obtaining clothes, but it works for me. Here's the deal: My mother is like 'here, take monies, and do budgeting for obtain life skill', so I'm like 'I shall take this wonga stash', then I don't actually do budgeting, I can't be bothered to buy clothes when I look so beautiful anyway, and my mum buys me some generic (but lovely) jeans out of genuine pity. (And also some shoes which are by 'FUBU', and take about a minute to get on each, but are shamefully cooler than my other wearing trainers.
Hey according to the internet (Urban dictionary and this weird European site, FUBU is a once really cool clothes brand, which is bigger in America, but also surrounded by racial tension because it's make by black people, and black people wear it, which has lead to loads of unfiltered racist acronyms for the word 'FUBU' across the internet.
STOP, I WAS JUST ON DAVID GLOVER'S WALL ON FACEBOOK, AND EVERYONE HAS TO SEE THIS ALL-CAPS WORTHY THING RIGHT HERE!
Actually, a lot of this guy's vidoes are pretty great, but they mostly involve toughness-crushing fluffy animals doing cute stuff.
*** Interuption Over ***
Anyways, speaking of how uncool I am (seems to form a substantial amount of this blog), I was upgraded to advbuilder on the ol' Minecraft Classic the other day, which is about the most e-authority I've ever had in my life, and I've also legalised my copy of Minecraft before the Beta. Hooray for Notch!
Speaking of David Glover (which I was also doing), we accidentally invented a great game on Friday evening. Here's what you need to play:
- Giant connect four.
- A crazy friend.
-To be crazy
- Two lame girls.
Basically, the game consists of putting the connect four pieces into the connect four as fast as you can, saying things like 'hurry!' or 'there's no time to lose!', but with the little slide on the bottom pulled out so that the pieces all fall right through. Then, the girls (who are too lame to undestand) want to make something vaguely sensible of the game, so toggle the slides. This only adds to the chaos and fun, becuase you proceed to pull the toggles back, sending all the rings crashing down, ready to be put back into the giant connect four to a chorus of 'Quickly!' and the like, whilst laughing hysterically as if under the influence of drugs.
This is why drugs / alcohol always confused me - I don't find it dificult to do any of the things people do when they're 'under the influence', as it were, and perhaps even have more of a good time due to be aware as to how thoroughly ridiculous I am being, but then not doing anything lame like throwing up in a gutter, getting pregnant or dying. It is my naive point of view that actually, drugs and booze and that are just some kind of excuse to do all the crazy things you want to do, but just dont want to do whilst being fully in control of yourself, so that people won't say 'oh yeah, you danced all crazy!' or 'That connect four madness was ridiculous!', but rather just 'whoa, we got totally [Insert pretty much anything here]-ed last night!'
Society rant over. Anyways, I like the game becuase it is fun, yet entirely without purpose, just like:
- This blog
- Minecraft
- My joinin of BinWeevils, solely to say intellectual things to a sea of nine year olds, whilst they all beg each other for virtual friendship and get upset about loosing games or 'mulch'.
(Maybe that last one wasn't cool, and more discening people would have left it unsaid, but then those people wouldn't be doing it.) (By way of a partial excuse, I saw it when a computer blocked me from viewing my Sister's Blog, and suggested a list full of child-friendly websites. Interesting, also, that my blog is understood by the computer as clean, where as Ruth's has content which may be innapropriate for children.
Oh yeah, my sister is home, which is great. Other than this, sorry for the lack of updates of late, I like to keep things inconsistent so you don't get bored.
I do not go shopping with my mum, the mum does my shopping for me. I am aware that this is even loss cool than the aforementioned method of obtaining clothes, but it works for me. Here's the deal: My mother is like 'here, take monies, and do budgeting for obtain life skill', so I'm like 'I shall take this wonga stash', then I don't actually do budgeting, I can't be bothered to buy clothes when I look so beautiful anyway, and my mum buys me some generic (but lovely) jeans out of genuine pity. (And also some shoes which are by 'FUBU', and take about a minute to get on each, but are shamefully cooler than my other wearing trainers.
Hey according to the internet (Urban dictionary and this weird European site, FUBU is a once really cool clothes brand, which is bigger in America, but also surrounded by racial tension because it's make by black people, and black people wear it, which has lead to loads of unfiltered racist acronyms for the word 'FUBU' across the internet.
STOP, I WAS JUST ON DAVID GLOVER'S WALL ON FACEBOOK, AND EVERYONE HAS TO SEE THIS ALL-CAPS WORTHY THING RIGHT HERE!
Actually, a lot of this guy's vidoes are pretty great, but they mostly involve toughness-crushing fluffy animals doing cute stuff.
*** Interuption Over ***
Anyways, speaking of how uncool I am (seems to form a substantial amount of this blog), I was upgraded to advbuilder on the ol' Minecraft Classic the other day, which is about the most e-authority I've ever had in my life, and I've also legalised my copy of Minecraft before the Beta. Hooray for Notch!
Speaking of David Glover (which I was also doing), we accidentally invented a great game on Friday evening. Here's what you need to play:
- Giant connect four.
- A crazy friend.
-To be crazy
- Two lame girls.
Basically, the game consists of putting the connect four pieces into the connect four as fast as you can, saying things like 'hurry!' or 'there's no time to lose!', but with the little slide on the bottom pulled out so that the pieces all fall right through. Then, the girls (who are too lame to undestand) want to make something vaguely sensible of the game, so toggle the slides. This only adds to the chaos and fun, becuase you proceed to pull the toggles back, sending all the rings crashing down, ready to be put back into the giant connect four to a chorus of 'Quickly!' and the like, whilst laughing hysterically as if under the influence of drugs.
This is why drugs / alcohol always confused me - I don't find it dificult to do any of the things people do when they're 'under the influence', as it were, and perhaps even have more of a good time due to be aware as to how thoroughly ridiculous I am being, but then not doing anything lame like throwing up in a gutter, getting pregnant or dying. It is my naive point of view that actually, drugs and booze and that are just some kind of excuse to do all the crazy things you want to do, but just dont want to do whilst being fully in control of yourself, so that people won't say 'oh yeah, you danced all crazy!' or 'That connect four madness was ridiculous!', but rather just 'whoa, we got totally [Insert pretty much anything here]-ed last night!'
Society rant over. Anyways, I like the game becuase it is fun, yet entirely without purpose, just like:
- This blog
- Minecraft
- My joinin of BinWeevils, solely to say intellectual things to a sea of nine year olds, whilst they all beg each other for virtual friendship and get upset about loosing games or 'mulch'.
(Maybe that last one wasn't cool, and more discening people would have left it unsaid, but then those people wouldn't be doing it.) (By way of a partial excuse, I saw it when a computer blocked me from viewing my Sister's Blog, and suggested a list full of child-friendly websites. Interesting, also, that my blog is understood by the computer as clean, where as Ruth's has content which may be innapropriate for children.
Oh yeah, my sister is home, which is great. Other than this, sorry for the lack of updates of late, I like to keep things inconsistent so you don't get bored.
Thursday, 9 December 2010
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
P.S
(it's a P.S, not a post. See above if you haven't already.)
You may notice the ridiculously long Minecraft poll there. It started out as harmless fun, but ended into a trip to the M.C wiki to view all the blocks in existence on survival mode, then take out all the ones I didn't think counted. I have made the executive decision not the talk very much about Minecraft on my blog, because I believe some people who actually hold me in some vague position of respect (in the loosest possible sense) have been known to view it. You know, girls and the like. They don't really dig that kind of thing, being the somewhat lame creatures they are.
P.P.S
Sorry for the misodginy, it's just the Raymond Chandler speaking.
You may notice the ridiculously long Minecraft poll there. It started out as harmless fun, but ended into a trip to the M.C wiki to view all the blocks in existence on survival mode, then take out all the ones I didn't think counted. I have made the executive decision not the talk very much about Minecraft on my blog, because I believe some people who actually hold me in some vague position of respect (in the loosest possible sense) have been known to view it. You know, girls and the like. They don't really dig that kind of thing, being the somewhat lame creatures they are.
P.P.S
Sorry for the misodginy, it's just the Raymond Chandler speaking.
Some kind of a scandal?
[Some kind of a title?]
Well, last month was our all time bestest ever month here at daveisgreatallthetime.blogspot.com, we averaged 7.76666667 views per day. This month, we are so far averaging exactly one per day. Needless to say, this is entirely my fault, as it has been over a week since the last post, partially because I wanted to give you some time to digest the richness of that last November's end treat, partially becuase I did do something vaguely like a post which didn't work because of the school computers, and partially because I'm not that great. Still, let us forgive and forget, move out of this wilderness of dry pages, and onwards to the wealth of David Lovell-type goodness we have in store for this most festive of months.
First this month is the best and worst story of it so far. It all began when Miss Davis, being the imaginative woman she is, set us a LitLang task which involved writing a lonely hearts column for Dupin. For those of you just joining us, Dupin is solitary, not lonely, and even Poe would struggle to write a lonely hearts column five to eight hundred words long in which he tore up all that he had previously embroided of this magnificent persona. It was practically sacrilege in the field of literature, so David Glover and I did not hesitate to share with each other just how disgusted we were by this bizarre concept.
One thing, however, led to another (as it tends to do when Mr. Glover's mind and my own collaborate in any manner), and before long we were both just slating Miss Davis. There was criticism gushing from pore of our bodies, some of which I thought was almost constructive and quite reasonable, but for the most part, unfortunately, was just pure slander, along the lines of 'she doesn't know her subject!' and quite possibly 'She is literally retarded.
After a few minutes of this, Mr. Glover turned to me and said 'Hey wait a minute - she could be on this bus.' The words echoed in my head for a second. They clanged sonourously against the sides of my skull, chiming with the sombre inevitability of death itself. When this occurred, several things which had slowly sunk to the lower regions of my memory resurfaced simultaneously as whisps of wordplay, slander and imagination shrunk back to reveal them in all there sobering clarity. These things were as follows:
The first was the sudden realisation of just how loudly me and my colleague had been unashamedly slandering our teacher, and how much excitement had gotten the better of us.
The second was that our seats, located just behind the top of the staircase, were probably the most audible seats on the upper deck to anyone who happened to be sitting on the chairs closest to the bottom of the stairwell.
The third was that it was this very seat that Miss Davis, without fail, would claim for herself if she was ever upon the bus, and that indeed (this is perhaps truly a fourth thing, for it feels like an expereince in itself) it was this very seat that I had seen the said personage to be sat upon in the event of my boarding the vechile.
I looked at David Glover. His innocent eyes were filled with doubt. 'She is', I said.
Sorry, I kind of slipped into a bit of Poe there, it was legitametly an accident. Anyways, we were deeply screwed. Obviously she didn't mention it, but she critisised our performance in every aspect, hyperbolising the minutest short coming on our part, whilst seeing it as entirely acceptable that half the class needed to have every last sentence of 'The Purloigned Letter' translated and spoon fed to them, either due to complete apathy, or just an unfortunate understanding of archaic english. Still, we had said some nasty and unnecesary things, and you have no idea how good we made our homework that week, nor just how unbelievably far apart we managed to sit within the crammped walls of our classroom. Still, we deserve everything we get really. Miss Davis is a very good teacher, as are all teachers at Davenant, and it was incredibly rich of us to critisise her choice of homework task, when we hadn't actually done the homework, whereas she has studied the subject for a number of years. (If you believe that to be some kind of disclaimer for the unlikely event of this getting into the schools hands, you may be partially right, but I don't really feel great about accidentally saying all those things to my teachers face.)
Gee, I got a bit poetic really. That's a lot of words. To coclude / move in that general direction, my house is full of builders, who are all tearing things apart becuase my dad is not motivated or specialised enough to tear things apart as well as they can. And my kitten has been really, really cuddly lately.
Se ya round, hermaphrodites.
Well, last month was our all time bestest ever month here at daveisgreatallthetime.blogspot.com, we averaged 7.76666667 views per day. This month, we are so far averaging exactly one per day. Needless to say, this is entirely my fault, as it has been over a week since the last post, partially because I wanted to give you some time to digest the richness of that last November's end treat, partially becuase I did do something vaguely like a post which didn't work because of the school computers, and partially because I'm not that great. Still, let us forgive and forget, move out of this wilderness of dry pages, and onwards to the wealth of David Lovell-type goodness we have in store for this most festive of months.
First this month is the best and worst story of it so far. It all began when Miss Davis, being the imaginative woman she is, set us a LitLang task which involved writing a lonely hearts column for Dupin. For those of you just joining us, Dupin is solitary, not lonely, and even Poe would struggle to write a lonely hearts column five to eight hundred words long in which he tore up all that he had previously embroided of this magnificent persona. It was practically sacrilege in the field of literature, so David Glover and I did not hesitate to share with each other just how disgusted we were by this bizarre concept.
One thing, however, led to another (as it tends to do when Mr. Glover's mind and my own collaborate in any manner), and before long we were both just slating Miss Davis. There was criticism gushing from pore of our bodies, some of which I thought was almost constructive and quite reasonable, but for the most part, unfortunately, was just pure slander, along the lines of 'she doesn't know her subject!' and quite possibly 'She is literally retarded.
After a few minutes of this, Mr. Glover turned to me and said 'Hey wait a minute - she could be on this bus.' The words echoed in my head for a second. They clanged sonourously against the sides of my skull, chiming with the sombre inevitability of death itself. When this occurred, several things which had slowly sunk to the lower regions of my memory resurfaced simultaneously as whisps of wordplay, slander and imagination shrunk back to reveal them in all there sobering clarity. These things were as follows:
The first was the sudden realisation of just how loudly me and my colleague had been unashamedly slandering our teacher, and how much excitement had gotten the better of us.
The second was that our seats, located just behind the top of the staircase, were probably the most audible seats on the upper deck to anyone who happened to be sitting on the chairs closest to the bottom of the stairwell.
The third was that it was this very seat that Miss Davis, without fail, would claim for herself if she was ever upon the bus, and that indeed (this is perhaps truly a fourth thing, for it feels like an expereince in itself) it was this very seat that I had seen the said personage to be sat upon in the event of my boarding the vechile.
I looked at David Glover. His innocent eyes were filled with doubt. 'She is', I said.
Sorry, I kind of slipped into a bit of Poe there, it was legitametly an accident. Anyways, we were deeply screwed. Obviously she didn't mention it, but she critisised our performance in every aspect, hyperbolising the minutest short coming on our part, whilst seeing it as entirely acceptable that half the class needed to have every last sentence of 'The Purloigned Letter' translated and spoon fed to them, either due to complete apathy, or just an unfortunate understanding of archaic english. Still, we had said some nasty and unnecesary things, and you have no idea how good we made our homework that week, nor just how unbelievably far apart we managed to sit within the crammped walls of our classroom. Still, we deserve everything we get really. Miss Davis is a very good teacher, as are all teachers at Davenant, and it was incredibly rich of us to critisise her choice of homework task, when we hadn't actually done the homework, whereas she has studied the subject for a number of years. (If you believe that to be some kind of disclaimer for the unlikely event of this getting into the schools hands, you may be partially right, but I don't really feel great about accidentally saying all those things to my teachers face.)
Gee, I got a bit poetic really. That's a lot of words. To coclude / move in that general direction, my house is full of builders, who are all tearing things apart becuase my dad is not motivated or specialised enough to tear things apart as well as they can. And my kitten has been really, really cuddly lately.
Se ya round, hermaphrodites.
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Actual Excitement!
I promise - I know the last few haven't been so gripping, but I've had some majorly crazy stuff happen in the last few days.
I am so filled with the joys at present. Just got a lift back from Bridge Church, so obviously the happies from that, combined with the lift- getting, combined with that I just used my sick monkey-man skills to break into my empty house (climbed over garage, slipped in through the back) and that I didn't kill anyone scooting to B.C. You know how drivers say that driving on ice is really dangerous? It actually is. I was avoiding these people at a bus stop, so had to go through a really small icy puddle, really slowly, in a straight line. Thing is, the line ended up not being so straight, so I did this amazing 180 spin, hit some concrete and avoided all the people. Nobody got hurt, but I learnt a real lesson about scooting on ice, and how it doesn't work. Then a scooted a few more kicks, and slowed down as I approached this woman. She hadn't seen me, but because I'd been so cautious as to slow down, again nobody was hurt. The cool water of my bumbled apologies met the fiery lava of her thoughtless expletives, quickly forming an obsidian of mutual disrespect. Minecraft analogies aside, I'm glad nobody got hurt. I looked pretty dyspraxic though.
Dyspraxia, as I was explaining to Josh Scott last night, is not contagious, but I can deliberately infect people with is via physical contact if I so choose. Obviously I don't, because that's a pretty malicious curse to put on somebody's life. Since I've started talking about it from near the end, let me take you through yesterdays events backwards:
- Explained Dyspraxia to Josh
-Went into Trocadero's (who have a pretty rubbish website)
- Bought a Cinnabon Classic from Cinnabon.
- Ate a cinnabon mini
- Considered whether or not to spend 3.70 on a Cinnabon Classic
Well, this is taking ages and probably isn't gripping. Between changing stlyes, let just whisk you away from the past, to the very present, as I type. My dad just put on some Christmas Carols. It's the first Sunday of Advent, which in the Lovell house hold (by decree of the Man of the House, and the favour of everyone except my mum) means that it's permitted to play carols, and get excited about Christmas. This gives me more of the yellow jumpies. (Like warm fuzzies, but more lively, and less to do with feeling like a good person). Now, let us journey, once again, back in time. (wibble wobble wibble wobble) (watch robbie the reindeer 1 and 2 this Christmas)
Basically, yesterday was the XL staff dinner at Brick Lane. We went to this restraunt called Cinnamon, which was a bit crap (not to be confused with Cinnabon, which is epic). I had a kebabish jalfrezi, which took ages and then was really spicy. This was still quite cool, because when I have really spicy food, I get kind of weird. My arms were all tingling, and everything was happening a bit after it actually happened. Sound was all muffled and my head was funny. It is actually like a crazy, really short term, no bad side effects drug.
The most exciting thing was definitely what happened on the way to brick lane, when I was at a bus stop in Loughton, and all these crazy badmans staggered up, ciggarettes in mouth, tasteless attire, the works. Then they all ran accross the road and nearly died, which relieved me somewhat. Then they all ran back accross the road. It wasn't like they did it just for kicks, I legitametly feel that they were so deindividuated they ran accross the road and didn't actually know why.
Then a 20 pulled up, and I went upstairs without thinking, along with these 20 crazy wastemans. I sat relatively near the front, but then so did that short kid all gangs have, the one who's really small and lary. Our conversation went as follows:
Crazy kid: Oi mate, where you from?
Myself: Highams Park
C.K: Wot?
M: Highams Park
C.K: What you got?
M: Uhhh... this bag... My kickboard
[(Some chavs blackberry goes off]
C.K: You got blackberry!
M: Uhhh no. This is my phone. (pulls out 15 year old brick phone)
C.K: Nah man, you got blackberry!
Kid's mates: (in vague, unimaginative unision) Nah, he's nobody, he's nobody. / Leave him! (etc.)
C.K: Nah, he's got blackberry!
Kid's mates: Go downstairs, mate, go downstairs.
M: Uhhh yeah. I'm gonna do that.
C.K: Wasteman, you got a blackberry!
Because obviously I'm a wasteman for not wanting to be mugged by a 12 year old for a phone I clearly don't have.
See, told you this one was exciting.
I am so filled with the joys at present. Just got a lift back from Bridge Church, so obviously the happies from that, combined with the lift- getting, combined with that I just used my sick monkey-man skills to break into my empty house (climbed over garage, slipped in through the back) and that I didn't kill anyone scooting to B.C. You know how drivers say that driving on ice is really dangerous? It actually is. I was avoiding these people at a bus stop, so had to go through a really small icy puddle, really slowly, in a straight line. Thing is, the line ended up not being so straight, so I did this amazing 180 spin, hit some concrete and avoided all the people. Nobody got hurt, but I learnt a real lesson about scooting on ice, and how it doesn't work. Then a scooted a few more kicks, and slowed down as I approached this woman. She hadn't seen me, but because I'd been so cautious as to slow down, again nobody was hurt. The cool water of my bumbled apologies met the fiery lava of her thoughtless expletives, quickly forming an obsidian of mutual disrespect. Minecraft analogies aside, I'm glad nobody got hurt. I looked pretty dyspraxic though.
Dyspraxia, as I was explaining to Josh Scott last night, is not contagious, but I can deliberately infect people with is via physical contact if I so choose. Obviously I don't, because that's a pretty malicious curse to put on somebody's life. Since I've started talking about it from near the end, let me take you through yesterdays events backwards:
- Explained Dyspraxia to Josh
-Went into Trocadero's (who have a pretty rubbish website)
- Bought a Cinnabon Classic from Cinnabon.
- Ate a cinnabon mini
- Considered whether or not to spend 3.70 on a Cinnabon Classic
Well, this is taking ages and probably isn't gripping. Between changing stlyes, let just whisk you away from the past, to the very present, as I type. My dad just put on some Christmas Carols. It's the first Sunday of Advent, which in the Lovell house hold (by decree of the Man of the House, and the favour of everyone except my mum) means that it's permitted to play carols, and get excited about Christmas. This gives me more of the yellow jumpies. (Like warm fuzzies, but more lively, and less to do with feeling like a good person). Now, let us journey, once again, back in time. (wibble wobble wibble wobble) (watch robbie the reindeer 1 and 2 this Christmas)
Basically, yesterday was the XL staff dinner at Brick Lane. We went to this restraunt called Cinnamon, which was a bit crap (not to be confused with Cinnabon, which is epic). I had a kebabish jalfrezi, which took ages and then was really spicy. This was still quite cool, because when I have really spicy food, I get kind of weird. My arms were all tingling, and everything was happening a bit after it actually happened. Sound was all muffled and my head was funny. It is actually like a crazy, really short term, no bad side effects drug.
The most exciting thing was definitely what happened on the way to brick lane, when I was at a bus stop in Loughton, and all these crazy badmans staggered up, ciggarettes in mouth, tasteless attire, the works. Then they all ran accross the road and nearly died, which relieved me somewhat. Then they all ran back accross the road. It wasn't like they did it just for kicks, I legitametly feel that they were so deindividuated they ran accross the road and didn't actually know why.
Then a 20 pulled up, and I went upstairs without thinking, along with these 20 crazy wastemans. I sat relatively near the front, but then so did that short kid all gangs have, the one who's really small and lary. Our conversation went as follows:
Crazy kid: Oi mate, where you from?
Myself: Highams Park
C.K: Wot?
M: Highams Park
C.K: What you got?
M: Uhhh... this bag... My kickboard
[(Some chavs blackberry goes off]
C.K: You got blackberry!
M: Uhhh no. This is my phone. (pulls out 15 year old brick phone)
C.K: Nah man, you got blackberry!
Kid's mates: (in vague, unimaginative unision) Nah, he's nobody, he's nobody. / Leave him! (etc.)
C.K: Nah, he's got blackberry!
Kid's mates: Go downstairs, mate, go downstairs.
M: Uhhh yeah. I'm gonna do that.
C.K: Wasteman, you got a blackberry!
Because obviously I'm a wasteman for not wanting to be mugged by a 12 year old for a phone I clearly don't have.
See, told you this one was exciting.
Friday, 26 November 2010
Doneeeeo, Doneeeeo...
(we gonna party hard... something something party hard...)
Anyways, today is Friday, and I'm in some kind of weird 'semi-free miss Laws has a cold' period. My Sister always told me that she would get really awesome as we got further into sixth form, but it's just not happening. She's lovely, I grant her, and a good teacher (aside from crazy compulsive shouting rants), but not awesome, nothing so grand.
Quick update which nobody will care about:
-I have a good 21 pieces of obsidian.
- I'm a good way through crafting a minecart track through the Nether, thus creating fast fast travel.
Anways, back to the real world: My kitten has been really cuddly of late. It took him a while to work out that I'd changed rooms (the loft's undergoing some serious undergoings), but he got there eventually, and nowadays he's all scraping his paws on the door at night, and being all purry, then being really cuddly and purry. If you're tough and manly, don't get a kitten - it'll make a child of you, you'll find yourself stooped on the floor saying inane things like 'are you fluffy? Are you?', with your little sister looking at you like you're an idiot. For some reason I always combine my caretaker language with tag questions when my utterances are directed towards Cid. (Litlang FTW.)
Whelp, I just helped Banji with his maths for ages and have to go now. I'm aware that this makes for a pretty measly post.
I'm being urged out of the library now. Over and out.
Anyways, today is Friday, and I'm in some kind of weird 'semi-free miss Laws has a cold' period. My Sister always told me that she would get really awesome as we got further into sixth form, but it's just not happening. She's lovely, I grant her, and a good teacher (aside from crazy compulsive shouting rants), but not awesome, nothing so grand.
Quick update which nobody will care about:
-I have a good 21 pieces of obsidian.
- I'm a good way through crafting a minecart track through the Nether, thus creating fast fast travel.
Anways, back to the real world: My kitten has been really cuddly of late. It took him a while to work out that I'd changed rooms (the loft's undergoing some serious undergoings), but he got there eventually, and nowadays he's all scraping his paws on the door at night, and being all purry, then being really cuddly and purry. If you're tough and manly, don't get a kitten - it'll make a child of you, you'll find yourself stooped on the floor saying inane things like 'are you fluffy? Are you?', with your little sister looking at you like you're an idiot. For some reason I always combine my caretaker language with tag questions when my utterances are directed towards Cid. (Litlang FTW.)
Whelp, I just helped Banji with his maths for ages and have to go now. I'm aware that this makes for a pretty measly post.
I'm being urged out of the library now. Over and out.
Monday, 22 November 2010
Q.E.D
If you don't know what Q.E.D means, get cleverer.
Anyways, I feel I've reached the stage where I can say that this post was actually required, or even hungered for, if only by Stumpy.
Anyway, it's been a pretty dispraxic week this week, I've been veering into doors with my head, and putting biscuits in my ear, and (worst of all), I clicked my fingers, and then one of them had a massive cut in them. My fingernails are too short to have caused this, but it could have been picking up glass from the night before (several hours ago), or just that I was holding something sharp and forgot entirely about it.
Something I've been meaning to blog about for ages was (suprisingly) ages ago. It was this one time after scool on Wednesday, and there were all these starlings in the trees, and loads of people had stopped and were all looking at them, like: wow, that's so purty. We were all just united in the joys of nature.
I've been getting hugely into my online Minecraft Classic this week, I stumbled upon this server, and built some nang stuff. The big ol' sentry gun, portal chamber, and wooden water tunnel are mine. Just head for the big checkered square on 'main', and my stuff's just underneath that and a bit forward. I'm doubting anyone is gonna do this.
I can't really remember anything great from this week, which makes this a less cool blog post. Still, this is so darn well compensated for by the fact that people are like: 'snow is coming!' I mean, the BBC is like 'no it's not', but I know who I like to believe.
And I'm out.
Anyways, I feel I've reached the stage where I can say that this post was actually required, or even hungered for, if only by Stumpy.
Anyway, it's been a pretty dispraxic week this week, I've been veering into doors with my head, and putting biscuits in my ear, and (worst of all), I clicked my fingers, and then one of them had a massive cut in them. My fingernails are too short to have caused this, but it could have been picking up glass from the night before (several hours ago), or just that I was holding something sharp and forgot entirely about it.
Something I've been meaning to blog about for ages was (suprisingly) ages ago. It was this one time after scool on Wednesday, and there were all these starlings in the trees, and loads of people had stopped and were all looking at them, like: wow, that's so purty. We were all just united in the joys of nature.
I've been getting hugely into my online Minecraft Classic this week, I stumbled upon this server, and built some nang stuff. The big ol' sentry gun, portal chamber, and wooden water tunnel are mine. Just head for the big checkered square on 'main', and my stuff's just underneath that and a bit forward. I'm doubting anyone is gonna do this.
I can't really remember anything great from this week, which makes this a less cool blog post. Still, this is so darn well compensated for by the fact that people are like: 'snow is coming!' I mean, the BBC is like 'no it's not', but I know who I like to believe.
And I'm out.
Monday, 15 November 2010
Where my Lazers at?
The title is a reference to this piece of epic.
And also, quite foolishly, Izzie Keane said she'd marry me if I was ever attractive, which, as insulting as it may seem, is quite a risky thing to say, what with that I get closer to being legitametly attractive everyday. She probably knows I will, and just wants to be one step ahead of all my screaming, blog following fan girls.
This week is Bridge church's week of prayage and fast, a great excuse to drink loads of milk and have Nandos on Friday. Nandos. Friday.
Nandos. On Friday.
Oh Nandos.
Also, check out my sister's blog. It's not very relevant to most of you, but newly up this week is an uber cool comic about beating calculus papers. It has training montages, my lovely mother, and a fluffy kitten. There is literally nothing greater you could ask for in comic, or maybe just ever.
I saw a man shouting nasty things at a Lady to day while I was scooting to the Bridge, and a small part of me wanted to be like 'Excuse me, but that's not how you talk to a Lady', but the rest of me had already scooted away and decided to not get beat up.
My dad's been binging those intellectual films lately; he subscribed to love film, and there was this one about Jewish counterfeiters in Auschwitz, with this guy, (far right) who was a medic and spoke german, so reminded me a lot of this guy.
Things you should do this week:
Buy Minecraft
Read some XKCD
Prepare to have crazy hair on monday next week, for the spreading of the 'Crazy hair Mondays' phenomenon.
(0 to 2 people is spreading right. According to miss sacks, that's increasing at a rate of 'Undefined'. But not 'Maths Error', or 'Infinity', because that is wrong. I don't really know why Miss Sacks knows, or has the authority to teach that something divided by zero is not equal to infinity. Don't tell her, but it makes sense to me.'
Whelp, see some of you tommorow at school, nobody at the Bridge (won't be there, got some kind of 'you done good' evening from GCSE, with all those really unamusing anecdotes of boring things that happened on this one trip that you didn't go on.)
And also, quite foolishly, Izzie Keane said she'd marry me if I was ever attractive, which, as insulting as it may seem, is quite a risky thing to say, what with that I get closer to being legitametly attractive everyday. She probably knows I will, and just wants to be one step ahead of all my screaming, blog following fan girls.
This week is Bridge church's week of prayage and fast, a great excuse to drink loads of milk and have Nandos on Friday. Nandos. Friday.
Nandos. On Friday.
Oh Nandos.
Also, check out my sister's blog. It's not very relevant to most of you, but newly up this week is an uber cool comic about beating calculus papers. It has training montages, my lovely mother, and a fluffy kitten. There is literally nothing greater you could ask for in comic, or maybe just ever.
I saw a man shouting nasty things at a Lady to day while I was scooting to the Bridge, and a small part of me wanted to be like 'Excuse me, but that's not how you talk to a Lady', but the rest of me had already scooted away and decided to not get beat up.
My dad's been binging those intellectual films lately; he subscribed to love film, and there was this one about Jewish counterfeiters in Auschwitz, with this guy, (far right) who was a medic and spoke german, so reminded me a lot of this guy.
Things you should do this week:
Buy Minecraft
Read some XKCD
Prepare to have crazy hair on monday next week, for the spreading of the 'Crazy hair Mondays' phenomenon.
(0 to 2 people is spreading right. According to miss sacks, that's increasing at a rate of 'Undefined'. But not 'Maths Error', or 'Infinity', because that is wrong. I don't really know why Miss Sacks knows, or has the authority to teach that something divided by zero is not equal to infinity. Don't tell her, but it makes sense to me.'
Whelp, see some of you tommorow at school, nobody at the Bridge (won't be there, got some kind of 'you done good' evening from GCSE, with all those really unamusing anecdotes of boring things that happened on this one trip that you didn't go on.)
Sunday, 14 November 2010
Snowballing!
Because that's what this blog is doing, and it's a bit like snow and it's a bit like Christmas, which is a bit like 'NEARLY HERE'. Yeah, I'm one of those 'quite excited about Christmas' types.
But seriously, the blog is snowballing - the views for halfway through this month are nearly equal to those of the first (and most popular) month in total. It makes me feel more that I should update this badboy more, but then that doesn't really happen. [p----------------------------------------------------------------pppppp
Cid typed that bit, he was all walking on the keyboard. My Dad has still been lifting him above his head and growling at him again. My Dad's getting more old man-like every day; a couple of minutes ago he was sitting in front of a fake 'orange glowing logs made of plastic' fire, (I have no idea why we still have this) and watching some film in German about socialist censorship.
Everyone should definetely check out this wall post by my Aunty Sue. Cracks me up. Aren't aunties just the best at saying funny, a little bit awkward and confusing things?
Also, disregard anything I said about that 'laptops for orphans' thing. Claire Lovell, the well of compassion taht she is, has managed to get a good 74 hours worth of free education for the guys.
Best of all this weekend was that Ruth Lovell came home and we hung out. It was awesome, we didn't do anything special, we just shared nerd stuff. I showed her minecraft, even thought my mum told me not to unless it makes her fail her uni course. Then my cousin + cousin in law came round and we played one of those 'talking and acting' games, where there's laughter and connundrums all round. The highlight was when I had about a second left to go, picked up a card and just said 'He was really greek!', and Ruth was just like 'Archimedes!' She was right, and I don't even know who Archimedes is. I swear, we have some kind of link. We own at those family fun games.
Well, I'll be seeing most of you tommorow at school. Tommorrow is in ten minutes, so I'm off to the land of nod.
But seriously, the blog is snowballing - the views for halfway through this month are nearly equal to those of the first (and most popular) month in total. It makes me feel more that I should update this badboy more, but then that doesn't really happen. [p----------------------------------------------------------------pppppp
Cid typed that bit, he was all walking on the keyboard. My Dad has still been lifting him above his head and growling at him again. My Dad's getting more old man-like every day; a couple of minutes ago he was sitting in front of a fake 'orange glowing logs made of plastic' fire, (I have no idea why we still have this) and watching some film in German about socialist censorship.
Everyone should definetely check out this wall post by my Aunty Sue. Cracks me up. Aren't aunties just the best at saying funny, a little bit awkward and confusing things?
Also, disregard anything I said about that 'laptops for orphans' thing. Claire Lovell, the well of compassion taht she is, has managed to get a good 74 hours worth of free education for the guys.
Best of all this weekend was that Ruth Lovell came home and we hung out. It was awesome, we didn't do anything special, we just shared nerd stuff. I showed her minecraft, even thought my mum told me not to unless it makes her fail her uni course. Then my cousin + cousin in law came round and we played one of those 'talking and acting' games, where there's laughter and connundrums all round. The highlight was when I had about a second left to go, picked up a card and just said 'He was really greek!', and Ruth was just like 'Archimedes!' She was right, and I don't even know who Archimedes is. I swear, we have some kind of link. We own at those family fun games.
Well, I'll be seeing most of you tommorow at school. Tommorrow is in ten minutes, so I'm off to the land of nod.
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
GLDTV?
The somewhat self explanatory title was dreamt up by my new following, a cluster of three or four people (Jake Scott, Frankie Grimmer and Stumpy) from the wonderful Davenant Foundation School, who have taken a sudden and peculiar interest in the goings on of my life and mind. They seem aware of the dangers of understanding the oddities that surpass as thoughts in my head, and have in fact contributed a great deal to the ideas I am currently having.
One of these ideas is the idea of updating my blog regularly, which is nice in theory, but is yet to be proved in practice. The other, and perhaps even more ambitious, of them is the idea of making a vlog, hence the title. I like vlogging, but I like writing words instead of just saying them. However, a vlog in which I read my blog, whilst throwing in impromptu spur of the moment randomness appeals to me greatly, regardless of the reception it would recieve in the rascist, homophobic, and downright hate-fuelled community of YouTube.
MineCraft is still nang - I have found blen diamond, and enlarged by tree farm, as well as lighting the newly discovered unexlpored cavern with some primitive hellstone. Yes, things are looking up for David Lovell, in the game which takes it's own saddness to new levels - the object is to stay indoors, while you are staying indoors, and it's always a sunny day outside.
My father has taken his desire to go paragliding to new levels, and bought a DVD about paragliding safety. His previous concerns about whether to buy a nice motorike or a paraglider have been exchanged for debating which nice bike he should buy to ride to the south of Spain and take paragliding lessons.
The kitten has been boring today - a little bit of crazy random attacking, but nothing substantial by way of cuddles. Maybe we should stop feeding him a bit, and condition him into cuddliness.
I was just being a little bored at how my blog was not the most exciting today, so I started fiddling with some ice-cream sprinkles and they all spilled everywhere. Don't you just love it when exciting things happen? My mum didn't seem to appreciate it, but I thought it was great for blogging about.
Aussi, I have just remembered the most ridiculous political cartoon I read in the newspaper today. It goes as follows:
This one politician was explaining to David Cameron that he didn't like his elephant, becuase it was annoying him. Cut to a big golden elephant lying on the floor, with the face of Nick Clegg, saying 'Tickle my Tummy!' Then the politician is like: 'I ain't gon' tickle yo' tummy, I gon' destroy you.' And then he explains that he is going to get his man to dig up some dirt on him, and take him down. Then David Cameron's bizzare and unexplained growth from the top of his head (shaped like a lightbulb, probably representing an idea), starts glowing fleshy pink, and the man say's 'Hey David Cameron, why dat ting on yo' head glowin'?'
Is politics so boring that even the boring cartoon guys have switched from there generic 'politician struggling to catch ball', 'two politicians getting married' or 'politicans being impossibly red faced with anger' to just stories about yellow elephants, guised as relevant material.
My mother keeps saying that I critisise her use of words, when really I am just questioning them in order to learn. She is confusing my curiostiy with circumlocution (which it admittedly is a little bit), and thus critisises my every slightly stretched use of a new word.
Hey found it. You should definetely check out his guys other stuff, it makes just as little sense. Whelp see you when I see you, and big shout out to my Swedish one time reader.
One of these ideas is the idea of updating my blog regularly, which is nice in theory, but is yet to be proved in practice. The other, and perhaps even more ambitious, of them is the idea of making a vlog, hence the title. I like vlogging, but I like writing words instead of just saying them. However, a vlog in which I read my blog, whilst throwing in impromptu spur of the moment randomness appeals to me greatly, regardless of the reception it would recieve in the rascist, homophobic, and downright hate-fuelled community of YouTube.
MineCraft is still nang - I have found blen diamond, and enlarged by tree farm, as well as lighting the newly discovered unexlpored cavern with some primitive hellstone. Yes, things are looking up for David Lovell, in the game which takes it's own saddness to new levels - the object is to stay indoors, while you are staying indoors, and it's always a sunny day outside.
My father has taken his desire to go paragliding to new levels, and bought a DVD about paragliding safety. His previous concerns about whether to buy a nice motorike or a paraglider have been exchanged for debating which nice bike he should buy to ride to the south of Spain and take paragliding lessons.
The kitten has been boring today - a little bit of crazy random attacking, but nothing substantial by way of cuddles. Maybe we should stop feeding him a bit, and condition him into cuddliness.
I was just being a little bored at how my blog was not the most exciting today, so I started fiddling with some ice-cream sprinkles and they all spilled everywhere. Don't you just love it when exciting things happen? My mum didn't seem to appreciate it, but I thought it was great for blogging about.
Aussi, I have just remembered the most ridiculous political cartoon I read in the newspaper today. It goes as follows:
This one politician was explaining to David Cameron that he didn't like his elephant, becuase it was annoying him. Cut to a big golden elephant lying on the floor, with the face of Nick Clegg, saying 'Tickle my Tummy!' Then the politician is like: 'I ain't gon' tickle yo' tummy, I gon' destroy you.' And then he explains that he is going to get his man to dig up some dirt on him, and take him down. Then David Cameron's bizzare and unexplained growth from the top of his head (shaped like a lightbulb, probably representing an idea), starts glowing fleshy pink, and the man say's 'Hey David Cameron, why dat ting on yo' head glowin'?'
Is politics so boring that even the boring cartoon guys have switched from there generic 'politician struggling to catch ball', 'two politicians getting married' or 'politicans being impossibly red faced with anger' to just stories about yellow elephants, guised as relevant material.
My mother keeps saying that I critisise her use of words, when really I am just questioning them in order to learn. She is confusing my curiostiy with circumlocution (which it admittedly is a little bit), and thus critisises my every slightly stretched use of a new word.
Hey found it. You should definetely check out his guys other stuff, it makes just as little sense. Whelp see you when I see you, and big shout out to my Swedish one time reader.
Saturday, 6 November 2010
Fan Boy no-Jutsu!
This week, I have been a bit of a fanboy, particalarly about that wonderful thing I tried not to blog to hard about, Minecraft. I would like to point out that minecraft is still amazing. To those of you who will care / understand, I have hit a ridiculously large obsidian lake, which makes me happy.
You know those people who are so popular, they're invited to two parties at once? I'm one of those people. I chose to cop out of the family fireworks do, and instead I am going to the banging party of a Mr. Duncan Tarrant, one of those cool guys who thinks they are african becuase they lived in Africa for ages, and plays frisbee on a serious / semi-proffesional level. Anyways, there will be dead animals, which we will cook, and there will be music, which we will dance to. This is a beautiful combination of two of the greatest things ever, and is so good that I am bloggging about it before it has happened, because not much exiting happened this week.
My dad is holding the cat above his head and explaining to it that it needs to get used to being picked up and stroked, because otherwise he will stop feeding it. This is a bit silly, because he doesn't actually feed it, and everyone loves Cid exept him - I believe the feeling to be mutual.
MINECRAFT
Sorry, that happens.
Oh yeah. One of the great things of this week happened yesterday, when after XL I went to David Glover's house, and all his crazy relatives and there boyfriends / friends were there, and we teased his cat which is not as good as my kitten. His house is very crazy - I recommend that you just go there, he will probably let you in any time.
My kitten's eating grass. I know cats are supposed to do that, but I still find it a little concerning, becuase his favourtie food is algae wafers (which contain a little bit of fish). More concerning still is that my mum feeds them to him. That said, there is little you wont do, have you a soul of any kind, for a cat that is miawing at you. I'm often letting him into the loft space, but I'll have to stop for winter becuase my dad shuts him in when the house gets too cold.
Well, you guys all enjoy your less cool Saturdays.
You know those people who are so popular, they're invited to two parties at once? I'm one of those people. I chose to cop out of the family fireworks do, and instead I am going to the banging party of a Mr. Duncan Tarrant, one of those cool guys who thinks they are african becuase they lived in Africa for ages, and plays frisbee on a serious / semi-proffesional level. Anyways, there will be dead animals, which we will cook, and there will be music, which we will dance to. This is a beautiful combination of two of the greatest things ever, and is so good that I am bloggging about it before it has happened, because not much exiting happened this week.
My dad is holding the cat above his head and explaining to it that it needs to get used to being picked up and stroked, because otherwise he will stop feeding it. This is a bit silly, because he doesn't actually feed it, and everyone loves Cid exept him - I believe the feeling to be mutual.
MINECRAFT
Sorry, that happens.
Oh yeah. One of the great things of this week happened yesterday, when after XL I went to David Glover's house, and all his crazy relatives and there boyfriends / friends were there, and we teased his cat which is not as good as my kitten. His house is very crazy - I recommend that you just go there, he will probably let you in any time.
My kitten's eating grass. I know cats are supposed to do that, but I still find it a little concerning, becuase his favourtie food is algae wafers (which contain a little bit of fish). More concerning still is that my mum feeds them to him. That said, there is little you wont do, have you a soul of any kind, for a cat that is miawing at you. I'm often letting him into the loft space, but I'll have to stop for winter becuase my dad shuts him in when the house gets too cold.
Well, you guys all enjoy your less cool Saturdays.
Saturday, 30 October 2010
Hyperlink No-jutsu!
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Nope, blogger has not broken, I currently write you from the Gall residence in Lincoln, where the the XL's very own fire academy possy is doing its 'vangelical thing, preaching to the masses out here at ECC Lincoln, which is opposite their corresponding 'Bridge community venue'. I find that pretty freaky, because my old home church is ECC, and now I go to the bridge, both much closer to home. Word of the day is Mc'Vangelism, a neologism that is the work of yours truly. It's pretty self explanatory really, evangelising in Mc'D's. Crazy stuff.
By way of an explanation for you poor, confused people, the ridiculous array of links is because it would appear that Mozilla Firefox allows you to drag links from page to page and place to place, and drop them wherever the heck you like. It's like I'm the king of the internet, and I'm destroying and rebuilding things at the same time.
Speaking of destroying and rebuilding, check this out. Okay, so it's not the coolest thing, in fact it's not even marginally cool, but yet... it is the coolest. I'm not going to pretend I'm not incredibly nerdy on my own blog. In modern day society, I tend to hold things together and not just rant about cool stuff, but all the same, I'd like you to understand that I could just joy-rave about this thing. It's just huge raw pixels, which you destroy with your bare, square hands, and they you use the blocks to build stuff, to destroy more stuff. The purpose of the whole thing is to explore a place and then completely destroy and rearrange it in order to obtain the resources needed to keep the ironic cycle going. Did I mention zombies, plus other generic night beasties which come crawling out at night? Anyways, I have slipped already into an avid description which I fear I will not stop, and I don't want you people realising how uncool I actually am. (P.S, big shout out to Joni Blyth, who introduced me to this masterpiece.)
Apparently, football is great at the moment, some poor people absolutely thrashed a really rich team, and it was beautiful. Good old football.
I have decided that you can tell how spiritual/ powerful/ nang and life impacting a mission is not only by the impact you have on the people around you, but also by the amount that you bleed. Yesterday, David Owusu took a chunk of my hand out in a horrific, bizarre and slightly self-inflicted accident; today I had a good piece of my knuckle chipped out by John Elman's vicious air hockey antics. Other fantastic instances are like in mission Slovakia 2008, when I restled Jonny Abraham from 4-1 down to 4 all, and then stopped because I could wrestle no more, and staggered round Partizanske Tescos bruised, bleeding and drinking pineapple yoghurt. And yes, I am just liking things becuase it makes me feel good.
This is service bird alpha two, signing out.
Sunday, 24 October 2010
Captain Hench!
This should be my new superhero name; this week I have:
- Scared away that mean cat that comes in the garden to intimidate him. (For which he uber loved me)
- Given life guidance to some really irritating small people who were complete strangers
- Competed in a climbing competition, and set a trend by way of method on this one particular boulder
- Taught Ava Keane to say 'We all love Dave.'
Upon any level of inspection, all these things are admirable and manly. This got me to thinking: 'What is manliness?' A good question indeed.
On the one level, manliness is a raw, unrefined henchness, and a desire to tear people apart to protect your loved ones, or just because you're really mad. Classic examples include Gimley from Lord of the Rings saying 'And my axe!', The Heavy from Team Fortress 2 killing people whilst laughing manically, and that guy in The Last of the Mohicans who says 'Stay alive. Whatever happens, I will find you!' (that last one slips a little into other forms of manliness as well). This is the kind of manliness that is what you have to channel to do a really hard thing in a climbing competition, when you go 'Gh-aerr!' and do something really physically demanding that completely murks your stamina. That is manliness in its purest form, it is without motive, but is merely an iron will with no direction, chanelled by whatever means seems most impressive and demanding at the time.
Another level of manliness is the whole 'protecting your loved ones' type. So, for example, that thing above where he says he will find her (he does, but then they all die), or in Lord of the Rings (just finished watching it - manly film) when that guy dies and Arragon just goes beserk, but without compromising skill, and kills about a bragillion Orcs. Completely off topic, why do the Orc archers never shoot when it's most convenient, apart from that one part in number one where they kill that guy, and why are stampeding horses completely unnaffected by the whole 'wall of spears' thing? Anyways, I showed this kind of manliness when I strutted up to that big, ugly old cat and was like: 'hey mangy hair face, get off Cid's patch!' He ran away, and Cid was just really happy with me, so he was all rubbing his face on me. (Off topic again, the things I have had rubbing their faces on me out of affection in my life time are: cats, dogs, rabbits and girls. Seriously) Back to that thing that we were talking about just now - that is another great form of manliness, because although that cat was obviously going to run away, and I didn't even get the oportunity to kick / maim it, it was manly because I stood up for the oppressed, and took a hit for the pack, which is what men do.
Telling kids about how much they are lame is quite manly, but more just fun. I educated these complete strangers of about year 8 age on the topics of Japanese culture, being not confrontational, not using 'gay' as an insult and not being jerks who are always looking for a fight. They were seriously confrontational, they kept making fun of me (in the most ridiculously childish and hillarious ways) in front of all my friends, and then he kept almost hitting me and being like 'why you scared?' I think he was a bit confused by the experience of meeting someone who didn't want to hit him for a change. This was not, strictly, the case, but I let him believe it.
Teaching Ava to say 'We all love Dave' is in hindsight, not very manly. But it was quite fun. So far, all I have imparted, over the course of a few car journeys, into that childs life is how to say how much everyone loves me, how to spud someone, say the word gun and (my personal favourite) fully load and fire a six barrel, semi-automatic Maverick.
Also, I had the thought of busking in London with a license today. The things I require are:
1. Electric Kazoo
2. Busking licences being free
3. A lack of people who want to beat me up.
I might find something to replace that education thing at the bottom. If those people want laptops, they could at least put together a working gadget.
- Scared away that mean cat that comes in the garden to intimidate him. (For which he uber loved me)
- Given life guidance to some really irritating small people who were complete strangers
- Competed in a climbing competition, and set a trend by way of method on this one particular boulder
- Taught Ava Keane to say 'We all love Dave.'
Upon any level of inspection, all these things are admirable and manly. This got me to thinking: 'What is manliness?' A good question indeed.
On the one level, manliness is a raw, unrefined henchness, and a desire to tear people apart to protect your loved ones, or just because you're really mad. Classic examples include Gimley from Lord of the Rings saying 'And my axe!', The Heavy from Team Fortress 2 killing people whilst laughing manically, and that guy in The Last of the Mohicans who says 'Stay alive. Whatever happens, I will find you!' (that last one slips a little into other forms of manliness as well). This is the kind of manliness that is what you have to channel to do a really hard thing in a climbing competition, when you go 'Gh-aerr!' and do something really physically demanding that completely murks your stamina. That is manliness in its purest form, it is without motive, but is merely an iron will with no direction, chanelled by whatever means seems most impressive and demanding at the time.
Another level of manliness is the whole 'protecting your loved ones' type. So, for example, that thing above where he says he will find her (he does, but then they all die), or in Lord of the Rings (just finished watching it - manly film) when that guy dies and Arragon just goes beserk, but without compromising skill, and kills about a bragillion Orcs. Completely off topic, why do the Orc archers never shoot when it's most convenient, apart from that one part in number one where they kill that guy, and why are stampeding horses completely unnaffected by the whole 'wall of spears' thing? Anyways, I showed this kind of manliness when I strutted up to that big, ugly old cat and was like: 'hey mangy hair face, get off Cid's patch!' He ran away, and Cid was just really happy with me, so he was all rubbing his face on me. (Off topic again, the things I have had rubbing their faces on me out of affection in my life time are: cats, dogs, rabbits and girls. Seriously) Back to that thing that we were talking about just now - that is another great form of manliness, because although that cat was obviously going to run away, and I didn't even get the oportunity to kick / maim it, it was manly because I stood up for the oppressed, and took a hit for the pack, which is what men do.
Telling kids about how much they are lame is quite manly, but more just fun. I educated these complete strangers of about year 8 age on the topics of Japanese culture, being not confrontational, not using 'gay' as an insult and not being jerks who are always looking for a fight. They were seriously confrontational, they kept making fun of me (in the most ridiculously childish and hillarious ways) in front of all my friends, and then he kept almost hitting me and being like 'why you scared?' I think he was a bit confused by the experience of meeting someone who didn't want to hit him for a change. This was not, strictly, the case, but I let him believe it.
Teaching Ava to say 'We all love Dave' is in hindsight, not very manly. But it was quite fun. So far, all I have imparted, over the course of a few car journeys, into that childs life is how to say how much everyone loves me, how to spud someone, say the word gun and (my personal favourite) fully load and fire a six barrel, semi-automatic Maverick.
Also, I had the thought of busking in London with a license today. The things I require are:
1. Electric Kazoo
2. Busking licences being free
3. A lack of people who want to beat me up.
I might find something to replace that education thing at the bottom. If those people want laptops, they could at least put together a working gadget.
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
As promised!
Well, due to the procrastination which writes its own long story on this website, all the people who actually were caring enough to check me repping my blog didn't actually see any fresh updates.
In recent David Lovell happening:
- Ironing really fast is on the agenda, to make an electric kazoo from a dream into a reality, with money points earned from said activity.
- Ironing and Hummbuckers are on the Agenda because me and Mr. Glover are entering the battle of the bands at Davenant. We are going to win, we just aren't sure how yet. But you watch. Also, it's not like the other bands, where I cruise with someone dragging my weight who has talent. David Glover is probably less musically talented than me, which means that this time it's serious.
- Chingford lane is definetely a hill. No matter what anybody says.
- I am wearing my future shades. The batteries have run out.
Also in the list of things I am doing now (along with changing the format of the copy into non-bulleted) is thinking about going to a climbing competition this weekend at the reach. It's really cool because for every climb you do, you get entered into a draw, so the more climbs you do, the more likely you are to win cool climbing things. There are also prizes for craziest dressed and the like, so I think I'll just go shirtless, because that's what you do when the climbing gets serious. Awoo!
For my next paragraph, I would like to just talk about how much I love climbing. I did again it today, and it is still the manliest thing ever. What could be more badman than going up, when the rules clearly state that we are mean to go along? And then just finding, designing and perfecting the hardest way to go up, just to show everyone how unnecessarily hench and clever you are.
Second in the list of things which are still amazing is Litlang. We have a massive glossary of big words, and I love big words. One we learned the other day was politeness markers, which are words like 'hmmm', 'yes' and 'uh-huh'(I once got marks for doing this really deliberately in a speaking and listening task).
The other day, my mother was talking about how I converse with her mostly in politness markers. I was watching something innane and pointless on youtube, so I said 'hmmm'.
As a side / ending note, to this quite small and not hugely exciting post, I'm getting heavily into 'Tokyo Drift'. I need iTunes money. elligible girls know how I feel. Daily spec I keeps the deal. I aint a China man 'cause I aint from China man, I am Japaaan maan!
This reminds me, Japanese with Mr. Brock wasn't on today. Kore wa nan desu ka?
O yasumi na sai.
In recent David Lovell happening:
- Ironing really fast is on the agenda, to make an electric kazoo from a dream into a reality, with money points earned from said activity.
- Ironing and Hummbuckers are on the Agenda because me and Mr. Glover are entering the battle of the bands at Davenant. We are going to win, we just aren't sure how yet. But you watch. Also, it's not like the other bands, where I cruise with someone dragging my weight who has talent. David Glover is probably less musically talented than me, which means that this time it's serious.
- Chingford lane is definetely a hill. No matter what anybody says.
- I am wearing my future shades. The batteries have run out.
Also in the list of things I am doing now (along with changing the format of the copy into non-bulleted) is thinking about going to a climbing competition this weekend at the reach. It's really cool because for every climb you do, you get entered into a draw, so the more climbs you do, the more likely you are to win cool climbing things. There are also prizes for craziest dressed and the like, so I think I'll just go shirtless, because that's what you do when the climbing gets serious. Awoo!
For my next paragraph, I would like to just talk about how much I love climbing. I did again it today, and it is still the manliest thing ever. What could be more badman than going up, when the rules clearly state that we are mean to go along? And then just finding, designing and perfecting the hardest way to go up, just to show everyone how unnecessarily hench and clever you are.
Second in the list of things which are still amazing is Litlang. We have a massive glossary of big words, and I love big words. One we learned the other day was politeness markers, which are words like 'hmmm', 'yes' and 'uh-huh'(I once got marks for doing this really deliberately in a speaking and listening task).
The other day, my mother was talking about how I converse with her mostly in politness markers. I was watching something innane and pointless on youtube, so I said 'hmmm'.
As a side / ending note, to this quite small and not hugely exciting post, I'm getting heavily into 'Tokyo Drift'. I need iTunes money. elligible girls know how I feel. Daily spec I keeps the deal. I aint a China man 'cause I aint from China man, I am Japaaan maan!
This reminds me, Japanese with Mr. Brock wasn't on today. Kore wa nan desu ka?
O yasumi na sai.
Friday, 8 October 2010
Title?
blog titles are hard to think of, especially when the main focus of your entry is always nothing in particular. I promise I'll probably never do that again.
Me and Ruth haven't watched Red vs. Blue in a while, but the other day we had a huge conversation on Skype (if you could call it that) that consisted in it's entirity of me spamming her with crazy youtube videos and trivia to do with Team Fortress 2. My personal favourites are 'Heavy is Woman' and 'Intelligent Heavy fills in for Engineer'. I can assure you that these will not be your personal favourites, and you are probably too normal and unerdy to be at all entertained by them. Ruth thought that they were great. Also, did you know that the Engineer has several Phd's, but despite this, the soldier accuses him of illiteracy? Of course you didn't, you ignorant buffoon.
Unfortunately, I can't write about my most hated facebook group this week, because I am updating this bad boy from school. I've also decided that I'll probably not do that weekly, becuase you can't fight hatred and pessimsism with hatred and pessimism, unless you have a gun, and I do not. Besides, facebook will never die, not even the annoying parts of it.
Speaking of guns, and my not having one, there are these cool people on youtube who make actual hidden blades just like the ones from Assasin's Creed, but if I had one, I would get arrested, and probably kill someone by accident. However, if I had one with no blade, but with one of those nifty tasers on it, I could just knock people out instantaneously without any trouble, and be a badman vigilante. This excites me, because although it will never happen, it is the most feasible of all my awesome ideas, and is technically possible.
My new hero is William Wallace, a man who got annoyed and decided to kill loads of people. You don't push a man like that. I mean, the whole of the movie Braveheart is just people getting killed by other people, and it's so great that I don't even care if they're English and getting killed by the Scottish. From, what I can gather, we're still oppresing them today to some extenent, so I'm cool with it if they want to have a barbaric rampage every now and again. Especially with ridiculously large, ridiculously square hammers and six foot swords. I wish we'd get invaded, so we could have an uprising and kill oppressors, and defend our homes and women and the manly like. Or maybe a zombie apocalypse. This generation does need a good war or outbreak of flesh hungry mutants to put it in shape, but if it doesn't happen, could we just make one up and conspire as a nation to tell all our decendants that it reallly happened. It's like 1984: 'He who controls the present, controlls the past, and he who controlls the past controlls the future.' It could be that someone has this idea ages ago, and that WWII was ficititious, which would be lovely thing to believe.
No, the reality is that it would be to hard to organise an entire nation and persuade them into fabricating an alternate past, and would probably be far easier to synthesise a zombie virus. I'll start that immediately, the internet will know what to do.
Me and Ruth haven't watched Red vs. Blue in a while, but the other day we had a huge conversation on Skype (if you could call it that) that consisted in it's entirity of me spamming her with crazy youtube videos and trivia to do with Team Fortress 2. My personal favourites are 'Heavy is Woman' and 'Intelligent Heavy fills in for Engineer'. I can assure you that these will not be your personal favourites, and you are probably too normal and unerdy to be at all entertained by them. Ruth thought that they were great. Also, did you know that the Engineer has several Phd's, but despite this, the soldier accuses him of illiteracy? Of course you didn't, you ignorant buffoon.
Unfortunately, I can't write about my most hated facebook group this week, because I am updating this bad boy from school. I've also decided that I'll probably not do that weekly, becuase you can't fight hatred and pessimsism with hatred and pessimism, unless you have a gun, and I do not. Besides, facebook will never die, not even the annoying parts of it.
Speaking of guns, and my not having one, there are these cool people on youtube who make actual hidden blades just like the ones from Assasin's Creed, but if I had one, I would get arrested, and probably kill someone by accident. However, if I had one with no blade, but with one of those nifty tasers on it, I could just knock people out instantaneously without any trouble, and be a badman vigilante. This excites me, because although it will never happen, it is the most feasible of all my awesome ideas, and is technically possible.
My new hero is William Wallace, a man who got annoyed and decided to kill loads of people. You don't push a man like that. I mean, the whole of the movie Braveheart is just people getting killed by other people, and it's so great that I don't even care if they're English and getting killed by the Scottish. From, what I can gather, we're still oppresing them today to some extenent, so I'm cool with it if they want to have a barbaric rampage every now and again. Especially with ridiculously large, ridiculously square hammers and six foot swords. I wish we'd get invaded, so we could have an uprising and kill oppressors, and defend our homes and women and the manly like. Or maybe a zombie apocalypse. This generation does need a good war or outbreak of flesh hungry mutants to put it in shape, but if it doesn't happen, could we just make one up and conspire as a nation to tell all our decendants that it reallly happened. It's like 1984: 'He who controls the present, controlls the past, and he who controlls the past controlls the future.' It could be that someone has this idea ages ago, and that WWII was ficititious, which would be lovely thing to believe.
No, the reality is that it would be to hard to organise an entire nation and persuade them into fabricating an alternate past, and would probably be far easier to synthesise a zombie virus. I'll start that immediately, the internet will know what to do.
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
It's gettin' trans-continental!
This is one of many (12) lines in Exponentials single they're working on which rhymes with the word exponential. Also, it's quite reflective of how the whole 'stats' part of blogging makes it so much more addictive. I mean, just knowing people are reading it makes me quite happy, and encourages me to throw in the occasional web link when I deem appropraite, but not too often, lest people get the impression I'm as desperate as I truly am.
Speaking of desperate, and me not being it, I have found out that there is a growing craze of several girls shouting 'David!', and hugging each other enthusiastically. This is not a lie. They seriously do this and seriously are reffering to me, the one and only G.L.D. Some claim it's something to do with the way someone hugged me this one time or something, but I like to see beyond the obvious defence mechanism, and believe that all women are just exclaiming my name, as if to say 'Oh my days, he still really cool and desirable'. Essentially, I am the common interest of all women, and cause them to unite in embrace. Two counts as several, right? Whatever. Like I said, it's growing.
Being related to Jason Davies is uber cool, because I'm making my self a website, and he's helping me know how to put it on the line when the time comes. He is pretty much the a walking modem. I'm pretty sure he powers the internet.
Ruth is still at university, and we are still watching Red vs. Blue over skype by both pressing play at the same time. I feel like now she's departed, I'm quickly taking her place as chief nerd here at Lovell HQ. The way things are shaping up, it looks like we're going to be talking about coding, computers and internet treasures over the world wide web itself pretty much all the time we are conversing.
Oh yeah, my hatred of the phrase FML. Basically, it's just a ridiculous thing to say about your entire life when the tiniest things happen, and the internet is just banging that same drug day after day.
Today's most hated facebook group of the [period of time between blogs] is:
whoever said 'words can't hurt you' is clearly an idiot
admittedly, a slow day on the 'things I hate' front (as are all days, I'm a loving guy) but it's still just generically spreading the concept of people having been hurt / life sucking mentality. Why hasn't someone made an optimistic facebook group, but not a cheesy one like 'Life is great!' or 'Join this if you love God!'. On reflection, I don't think that there is any group name that would satisfy these criteria. Optimism is the new naff.
Speaking of desperate, and me not being it, I have found out that there is a growing craze of several girls shouting 'David!', and hugging each other enthusiastically. This is not a lie. They seriously do this and seriously are reffering to me, the one and only G.L.D. Some claim it's something to do with the way someone hugged me this one time or something, but I like to see beyond the obvious defence mechanism, and believe that all women are just exclaiming my name, as if to say 'Oh my days, he still really cool and desirable'. Essentially, I am the common interest of all women, and cause them to unite in embrace. Two counts as several, right? Whatever. Like I said, it's growing.
Being related to Jason Davies is uber cool, because I'm making my self a website, and he's helping me know how to put it on the line when the time comes. He is pretty much the a walking modem. I'm pretty sure he powers the internet.
Ruth is still at university, and we are still watching Red vs. Blue over skype by both pressing play at the same time. I feel like now she's departed, I'm quickly taking her place as chief nerd here at Lovell HQ. The way things are shaping up, it looks like we're going to be talking about coding, computers and internet treasures over the world wide web itself pretty much all the time we are conversing.
Oh yeah, my hatred of the phrase FML. Basically, it's just a ridiculous thing to say about your entire life when the tiniest things happen, and the internet is just banging that same drug day after day.
Today's most hated facebook group of the [period of time between blogs] is:
whoever said 'words can't hurt you' is clearly an idiot
admittedly, a slow day on the 'things I hate' front (as are all days, I'm a loving guy) but it's still just generically spreading the concept of people having been hurt / life sucking mentality. Why hasn't someone made an optimistic facebook group, but not a cheesy one like 'Life is great!' or 'Join this if you love God!'. On reflection, I don't think that there is any group name that would satisfy these criteria. Optimism is the new naff.
Monday, 4 October 2010
Look out world!
Me and David Glover have started a band, and it is called 'The Exponential'. Starting bands is really fun, and I have done it quite a lot. Previous offences include:
-The Procrastinates (Me and Kai Hammond - the pun wasn't intended at the time, but the band has lived up to it, with zero albums, zero chart toppers, and a whopping zero actual songs. I still think it counts as a band though, and to mark our three or four year aniversary, I think we should do some gigging at XLerate, hopefully with my electric kazoo.)
- The Double D's (Again, the pun wasn't intended, I only realised the next day. It was only called that because it was me and Big Dave. We actually made a song, which actually exsists on Josh Scott's laptop. It was called 'Dobre Dobre' (good good) and featuerd me on Kazoo and Dave on acoustic guitar.
I think there were others, but they have been moved aside in my mind to make way for 'The Exponential', a white hot (and both white and hot separarately) rap based number, currently working on the music video 'The Trifle Syndicate', featuring M.C Specs (Banji Ajai)
I know it would be quite vain and self deluded to call this blog popular, but I see myself as both of those things, so I am going to anyway. We had a reader on just ten minutes ago - I bet he's gutted.
To be frank, I'm not really sure why anybody really reads this - I mean essentially, it's a load of drivvle extracted from my utterly unexotic life, and with it's updates becoming rarer and rarer. Maybe I should post some suicide threats around the place, then the whole internet would be here.
Actually, they proabably would. I'm noticing lately that the internet loves the concept of how much it thinks life sucks, as facebook groups such as 'I pretend to be ok and I keep a smile on my face but Inside Im dying'. That's not a shared interest - it's a legitemate issue, and yet facebok keeps giving us the impression that it's what life is all about. I have just decided, in my wisdom, to have a 'Most annoying facebook group of the month' competition, every time I update this bad boy, in which I will express my boring and old fashioned hatred of the groups that killed facebook.
Maybe that's why all you crazy people come here, and pretend to care: because we all need something more than the innanities and sufferings of day to day life, livened up occasionally by girls making statuses about other people, or just arguing publicly on their walls. I like to think that like flies to a cozy lantern, you are perhaps just a little drawn to this untouched shrine of positivity and colour, untouched by the raging social war which blackens the webpages surrounding it. Or maybe you're just really bored. Either's fine.
Next Week: David Lovell rants briefly about the phrase 'FML' and how it is very silly.
Still no numbers rolling on that thing at the bottom of the screen. Come on people, these laptops aren't just going to provide themselves! (which is kind of funny, because that's what I got the impression they were supposed to do when I got that thing.)
-The Procrastinates (Me and Kai Hammond - the pun wasn't intended at the time, but the band has lived up to it, with zero albums, zero chart toppers, and a whopping zero actual songs. I still think it counts as a band though, and to mark our three or four year aniversary, I think we should do some gigging at XLerate, hopefully with my electric kazoo.)
- The Double D's (Again, the pun wasn't intended, I only realised the next day. It was only called that because it was me and Big Dave. We actually made a song, which actually exsists on Josh Scott's laptop. It was called 'Dobre Dobre' (good good) and featuerd me on Kazoo and Dave on acoustic guitar.
I think there were others, but they have been moved aside in my mind to make way for 'The Exponential', a white hot (and both white and hot separarately) rap based number, currently working on the music video 'The Trifle Syndicate', featuring M.C Specs (Banji Ajai)
I know it would be quite vain and self deluded to call this blog popular, but I see myself as both of those things, so I am going to anyway. We had a reader on just ten minutes ago - I bet he's gutted.
To be frank, I'm not really sure why anybody really reads this - I mean essentially, it's a load of drivvle extracted from my utterly unexotic life, and with it's updates becoming rarer and rarer. Maybe I should post some suicide threats around the place, then the whole internet would be here.
Actually, they proabably would. I'm noticing lately that the internet loves the concept of how much it thinks life sucks, as facebook groups such as 'I pretend to be ok and I keep a smile on my face but Inside Im dying'. That's not a shared interest - it's a legitemate issue, and yet facebok keeps giving us the impression that it's what life is all about. I have just decided, in my wisdom, to have a 'Most annoying facebook group of the month' competition, every time I update this bad boy, in which I will express my boring and old fashioned hatred of the groups that killed facebook.
Maybe that's why all you crazy people come here, and pretend to care: because we all need something more than the innanities and sufferings of day to day life, livened up occasionally by girls making statuses about other people, or just arguing publicly on their walls. I like to think that like flies to a cozy lantern, you are perhaps just a little drawn to this untouched shrine of positivity and colour, untouched by the raging social war which blackens the webpages surrounding it. Or maybe you're just really bored. Either's fine.
Next Week: David Lovell rants briefly about the phrase 'FML' and how it is very silly.
Still no numbers rolling on that thing at the bottom of the screen. Come on people, these laptops aren't just going to provide themselves! (which is kind of funny, because that's what I got the impression they were supposed to do when I got that thing.)
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Check it out!!
United Kingdom 183
United States 36
Canada 8
Brazil 1
Germany 1
Ireland 1
Israel 1
Sweden 1
Those are the people looking at my blog. I'm guessing there are some bored Swedish people jamming the random blog button out there.
United States 36
Canada 8
Brazil 1
Germany 1
Ireland 1
Israel 1
Sweden 1
Those are the people looking at my blog. I'm guessing there are some bored Swedish people jamming the random blog button out there.
Bang!
I know big words like neo-classical, circumlocutive and syntax now. Litlang is for the win, even if everyone says it's the less cool subject. Everyone is wrong, and I am right. I should know, I took Litlang.
My life continues to be filled with the good things. One of them is that I just this very now moment stumbled accross a nifty gadget that tells me that six people visited my page in one day. Six people! Keep it up guys, I think I actually am as cool as I am ever going to be. On top of this, Mr. Brock is teaching Japanese at lunch on tuesdays for sixthformers, which means that A. I get to have sixth form priveleges. B. I get to hang out with Mr. Brock (literally, being taught by this man is like hanging out with an ubernerd) and C. I get to say 'Brock Sesei!'
I have just this now decided I would like to have a really cool dressing gown and smoke a cigar whilst wearing it. Which reminds me, I was searched by a sniffer dog today, which was pretty cool, especially considering I didn't have any drugs or anything, and it was just a demonstration. Drugs are bad.
At the moment, I hate David Glover. I might make one of those hostile annoying status updates about how much I despise him, but do it without saying his name. Maybe just be like: 'I'm really annnoyed at some people who I hate at the moment >:('. Basically, I hate him (passionately) because Kiera Mackervoy made me a colleage bracelet in science, on the grounds that we aren't friends. Then she made David Glover one! She insists that we are both the same greatness as colleages, and so I hate David Glover. Dave says that his bracelet hates my bracelet, but I know I hate him. We also invented the least manly fighting game ever:
Bracelet Wars!
The game involves strapping random stuff to your bracelet and insisting that it's some kind of weapon, then beating the other person's bracelet to death.
Sorry to keep pretending like this is exciting, but I went to a party the other day, and being the naive Dave that I am, it was pretty much my first experience of those badman people drinking parties. I was thinking like I'd be really awkwarded out, and although it wasn't hugely cool seeing loads of cool people getting drunk, nobody was sober enough to remember how good nibbles were, and there were a lot of nibbles. They had those choclate creamy ones, plus the best thing ever - a nacho which is in a pouch, and the dip is already inside the nacho. And also there was dancing, which was cool. What is not cool, is people who are like 'I'll dance when I'm drunk!' At that point they are already zero cool, but then negative cool is when they get drunk and don't even dance. It's like: 'What are you here for? Go home and get drunk by yourself, or go to some party which has no music, and is just drunk people being shy.' Plus, on a more sombre note, I had some interesting conversations with some people I knew, and learnt a lot about partying, being careful when doing it, and judging people. Which is so nice, it's hunky dory. Anways, too much of even my voice (so to speak (so to speak ( Yay! [Insert infinite so to speak loop here.]) can get annoying, so this is David Lovell signing off.
P.S Six hits!
P.P.S I think that the gizmo we got for orphans (scroll right to the bottom) is actually just to make us feel bad about that we still haven't gotten any hours of information for orphans yet. I'm pretty sure it's a guilt trip, and isn't actually programmed to move.
My life continues to be filled with the good things. One of them is that I just this very now moment stumbled accross a nifty gadget that tells me that six people visited my page in one day. Six people! Keep it up guys, I think I actually am as cool as I am ever going to be. On top of this, Mr. Brock is teaching Japanese at lunch on tuesdays for sixthformers, which means that A. I get to have sixth form priveleges. B. I get to hang out with Mr. Brock (literally, being taught by this man is like hanging out with an ubernerd) and C. I get to say 'Brock Sesei!'
I have just this now decided I would like to have a really cool dressing gown and smoke a cigar whilst wearing it. Which reminds me, I was searched by a sniffer dog today, which was pretty cool, especially considering I didn't have any drugs or anything, and it was just a demonstration. Drugs are bad.
At the moment, I hate David Glover. I might make one of those hostile annoying status updates about how much I despise him, but do it without saying his name. Maybe just be like: 'I'm really annnoyed at some people who I hate at the moment >:('. Basically, I hate him (passionately) because Kiera Mackervoy made me a colleage bracelet in science, on the grounds that we aren't friends. Then she made David Glover one! She insists that we are both the same greatness as colleages, and so I hate David Glover. Dave says that his bracelet hates my bracelet, but I know I hate him. We also invented the least manly fighting game ever:
Bracelet Wars!
The game involves strapping random stuff to your bracelet and insisting that it's some kind of weapon, then beating the other person's bracelet to death.
Sorry to keep pretending like this is exciting, but I went to a party the other day, and being the naive Dave that I am, it was pretty much my first experience of those badman people drinking parties. I was thinking like I'd be really awkwarded out, and although it wasn't hugely cool seeing loads of cool people getting drunk, nobody was sober enough to remember how good nibbles were, and there were a lot of nibbles. They had those choclate creamy ones, plus the best thing ever - a nacho which is in a pouch, and the dip is already inside the nacho. And also there was dancing, which was cool. What is not cool, is people who are like 'I'll dance when I'm drunk!' At that point they are already zero cool, but then negative cool is when they get drunk and don't even dance. It's like: 'What are you here for? Go home and get drunk by yourself, or go to some party which has no music, and is just drunk people being shy.' Plus, on a more sombre note, I had some interesting conversations with some people I knew, and learnt a lot about partying, being careful when doing it, and judging people. Which is so nice, it's hunky dory. Anways, too much of even my voice (so to speak (so to speak ( Yay! [Insert infinite so to speak loop here.]) can get annoying, so this is David Lovell signing off.
P.S Six hits!
P.P.S I think that the gizmo we got for orphans (scroll right to the bottom) is actually just to make us feel bad about that we still haven't gotten any hours of information for orphans yet. I'm pretty sure it's a guilt trip, and isn't actually programmed to move.
Friday, 10 September 2010
Several cool things.
Cool cool things.
The first and foremost is the event that was me unleashing my beast instincts, and hunting a shoe-stealing fox 40 metres accross a field, before it dropped the shoe, cowered back, and shrivelled into a new-found state of pansyness. I return the shoe to these 30 hench footballers, who I am suspicious did not notice the ordeal whatsoever, and said nothing.
The second great thing is that http://www.kazoos.com/, home of Kazoobie Kazoos (truly the greatest in the world) have much cheaper shipping rates over the phone, which means that I am probably on the verge of spending $35 on two Kazoos, the Hummbucker, and the Wazoogle.
Again on the uber cool front, I am learning to hard-code websites in applied-ICT, thus adding to my nerd count.
css.
#nerdcount {
height: 200px ;
width: 300px ;
background-color: darkblue;
}
html.
Anyway, my nerd count aside, the most awesome thing has to be fire academy, and the fact that I'm going to be at XL fifteen minutes before anyone in my group in an effort to never ever be late. Ever. My punctuality will literally punch your expectations through the roof.
P.S 3 votes! other people read this! (Probably just claire, who doesn't know how to subscribe to a blog)
P.P.S http://www.spotsvsstripes.com/ if you don't join a side and challenge someone to something, you are not a man.
P.P.P.S We haven't helped any information hungry orphans any laptop time yet. Do something about it.
The first and foremost is the event that was me unleashing my beast instincts, and hunting a shoe-stealing fox 40 metres accross a field, before it dropped the shoe, cowered back, and shrivelled into a new-found state of pansyness. I return the shoe to these 30 hench footballers, who I am suspicious did not notice the ordeal whatsoever, and said nothing.
The second great thing is that http://www.kazoos.com/, home of Kazoobie Kazoos (truly the greatest in the world) have much cheaper shipping rates over the phone, which means that I am probably on the verge of spending $35 on two Kazoos, the Hummbucker, and the Wazoogle.
Again on the uber cool front, I am learning to hard-code websites in applied-ICT, thus adding to my nerd count.
css.
#nerdcount {
height: 200px ;
width: 300px ;
background-color: darkblue;
}
html.
Dave's Nerd count = about a ridiculous amount.
Anyway, my nerd count aside, the most awesome thing has to be fire academy, and the fact that I'm going to be at XL fifteen minutes before anyone in my group in an effort to never ever be late. Ever. My punctuality will literally punch your expectations through the roof.
P.S 3 votes! other people read this! (Probably just claire, who doesn't know how to subscribe to a blog)
P.P.S http://www.spotsvsstripes.com/ if you don't join a side and challenge someone to something, you are not a man.
P.P.P.S We haven't helped any information hungry orphans any laptop time yet. Do something about it.
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
Check it out!
I made a box that helps charity. Don't ask me how it does it, or what the charity even is, all I know is that I have a laptop for my uberneeds, and it'd be quite nang if all the kids who needed them could have one, so that all their friends could be jealous.
Writing Words.
Although I am doing it now, I am thinking: writing words is one of the things that I like doing, and that I am told I am good at, and that I should do more often times. I mean, I know I'm writing words at present, they are not very imaginative or compelling ones, more just the contents of the last few days spilt clumsily onto paper. So on the one hand, I could write a blog of short mind ramblings, similar to this one but entirely fictitious, or on the other, I could just write some form of story. I am more inclined currently towards the latter, and I'm thinking of writing a bragilliant story, one with frogs that turn you into frog zombies, and sheep with hollowed out eyes and no jawbone, and fate and irony and a pterodactyl.
I remember promising in my last post that I would write a story if nothing happened that was exciting, but I can't remember what it was, or even anythign else I wrote, so I'm going to find exciting things that occured.
Firstly, I wore a suit to sixth form, which made me better then every last one of the raggamuffins who stumble around in lower school not wearing a suit, and made me feel better than literally everyone who wasn't wearing a suit. I also had the priveledge of missing a homework deadline, and missing some of the lesson to do the homework. As crazy as it seems, I'm loving the concept that the punishment for not getting educated is just not getting educated. This combined with being a joint fire academy leader has made me vow to myself that I am going to obliterate everyone's expectation with my sick organisation manouvres. 'Twill be a parr of the most organised variety.
Also, climbing. I haven't done it in ages, and I need to get back on a wall. I yearn for callous covered hands (my own, obviously) that make me all manly and tough. I mean, chicks notice that kind of thing. I'm still awaiting the rush of new sixth form chicks to be impressed by me. I'm thinking maybe because I'm so organised they haven't realised I'm the David Lovell all their friends are talking about. In good time, in good time.
I remember promising in my last post that I would write a story if nothing happened that was exciting, but I can't remember what it was, or even anythign else I wrote, so I'm going to find exciting things that occured.
Firstly, I wore a suit to sixth form, which made me better then every last one of the raggamuffins who stumble around in lower school not wearing a suit, and made me feel better than literally everyone who wasn't wearing a suit. I also had the priveledge of missing a homework deadline, and missing some of the lesson to do the homework. As crazy as it seems, I'm loving the concept that the punishment for not getting educated is just not getting educated. This combined with being a joint fire academy leader has made me vow to myself that I am going to obliterate everyone's expectation with my sick organisation manouvres. 'Twill be a parr of the most organised variety.
Also, climbing. I haven't done it in ages, and I need to get back on a wall. I yearn for callous covered hands (my own, obviously) that make me all manly and tough. I mean, chicks notice that kind of thing. I'm still awaiting the rush of new sixth form chicks to be impressed by me. I'm thinking maybe because I'm so organised they haven't realised I'm the David Lovell all their friends are talking about. In good time, in good time.
Friday, 3 September 2010
Whelp, little has happened since my last blog. I wrote a poem. I have no shame in that. No shame, you hear. Real men write poems. Not all the time, because that is pansy, but just sometimes when they're tired and poemy.
Well, this week has been not that exciting. I had my first day at sixthform, during which I wore a suit and was really suave.
At the current time, I have a presentation to write and 22 chapters of Catch 22 to read, probably for Monday or sometime then. I am not really starting sixth form in the most pace making of paces, to be honest.
I can sense that this post is pretty bad, and getting pretty worse, similarly to how I am getting exponentially more tired. I promise the next one will be better. If nothing interesting happens I'll write you a story. With an elephant called Trevor in it.
Well, this week has been not that exciting. I had my first day at sixthform, during which I wore a suit and was really suave.
At the current time, I have a presentation to write and 22 chapters of Catch 22 to read, probably for Monday or sometime then. I am not really starting sixth form in the most pace making of paces, to be honest.
I can sense that this post is pretty bad, and getting pretty worse, similarly to how I am getting exponentially more tired. I promise the next one will be better. If nothing interesting happens I'll write you a story. With an elephant called Trevor in it.
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Hello again!
Well, it's been a long old summer, and you probably hated every blogless minute of it, but I, on the otherhand, was busy gathering achievements to mount on my blog.
First holiday type thing was WEC camp - way better than audacious, becuase I went with my best mate, and God's got zany stuff planned for him, and I learnt a lot about praying and just how awesome it is.
I did something else in the holidays but I've forgotten what, except that I also visited the lake district with my family, a pilgramige customary to the Lovells once every two years. This involved doing manly walking most days, including a 10 hour one with just me and my manly father. Aussi, I have bagged Scarfell Pike, and my calfs are now the size of actual calfs, like the ones that say moo.
I think that the most supreme of all these achievements, however, is that yesterday, not only did I fix some rip off shades I bought on holiday to make them super cool, I also invented cyber glasses, which will make me rich beyond my wildest dreams, and obtained a couple of sick african shirts which go with the shades and scooter look so darn well I can wear them even on a day as mediocre as this one. Well, see you guys in about 45 mins / half an hour at the bridgealicious church.
P.S. I've gotten into the unimaginative habit of suffixing words with 'tastic' and 'alicious', such as 'tarragontastic' (The original -tastic), and 'climbalisciously'.
I have also developed a ludicrously unhealthy love of this song, and how bad it is. Hold on until you get to the rap, because that's the climax of the cheeseyness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YufZ_Bj0aQ8
This isn't the best and most original version, with the all out sax riffs, but the video from the 80's is nothing short of indecent.
First holiday type thing was WEC camp - way better than audacious, becuase I went with my best mate, and God's got zany stuff planned for him, and I learnt a lot about praying and just how awesome it is.
I did something else in the holidays but I've forgotten what, except that I also visited the lake district with my family, a pilgramige customary to the Lovells once every two years. This involved doing manly walking most days, including a 10 hour one with just me and my manly father. Aussi, I have bagged Scarfell Pike, and my calfs are now the size of actual calfs, like the ones that say moo.
I think that the most supreme of all these achievements, however, is that yesterday, not only did I fix some rip off shades I bought on holiday to make them super cool, I also invented cyber glasses, which will make me rich beyond my wildest dreams, and obtained a couple of sick african shirts which go with the shades and scooter look so darn well I can wear them even on a day as mediocre as this one. Well, see you guys in about 45 mins / half an hour at the bridgealicious church.
P.S. I've gotten into the unimaginative habit of suffixing words with 'tastic' and 'alicious', such as 'tarragontastic' (The original -tastic), and 'climbalisciously'.
I have also developed a ludicrously unhealthy love of this song, and how bad it is. Hold on until you get to the rap, because that's the climax of the cheeseyness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YufZ_Bj0aQ8
This isn't the best and most original version, with the all out sax riffs, but the video from the 80's is nothing short of indecent.
Saturday, 7 August 2010
No way!!!!
People actually read this! I'm so relieved. I've laboured repeatedly that I don't blog for the readership, and I'm sure you're sick of the phrase, but it's nice to know that someone else knows it's out there. And now I promise never to talk about wanting people to read this ever again. The end.
Whelp, the last two crazy holiday weeks have been to muchos for words, so basically, I got excited about tiles, becuase they are made by robots, skived off with a guy called Happy Henry ( who introduced me to action turnip and robot unicorn attack - google them) whilst other smarter, and in many cases more autistic people designed, built and programmed robots for us, which mostly failed, except one that did so well that it just killed that atmosphere. I didn't make that one.
Then, I went to WEC, which was nang, and I'm glad I went there instead of Audacious, because God put it majory on my heart to support and encourage my friend who also went, as well as teaching me just how nang prayer is. Different camps, same God. BAM! Aussi, the village quiet times (because we're not too cool to call them what we all know they will always be), consisted mostly of jokes about me and women. My birthday also occured, I got monies, with which I will buy a Fez, a Kazoo, and maybe a Ukalalie, depending on how causually you can learn and play them. Then I will have everything I need to live my dream of becoming a homeless and talentless busker. Nobody can dislike a guy with a Ukalalie.
Whelp, I'm off (without actually moving) to find out about Ukalalies. Ta ta for the momento, may the wind remain ever your faithful compainion.
Dave.
Whelp, the last two crazy holiday weeks have been to muchos for words, so basically, I got excited about tiles, becuase they are made by robots, skived off with a guy called Happy Henry ( who introduced me to action turnip and robot unicorn attack - google them) whilst other smarter, and in many cases more autistic people designed, built and programmed robots for us, which mostly failed, except one that did so well that it just killed that atmosphere. I didn't make that one.
Then, I went to WEC, which was nang, and I'm glad I went there instead of Audacious, because God put it majory on my heart to support and encourage my friend who also went, as well as teaching me just how nang prayer is. Different camps, same God. BAM! Aussi, the village quiet times (because we're not too cool to call them what we all know they will always be), consisted mostly of jokes about me and women. My birthday also occured, I got monies, with which I will buy a Fez, a Kazoo, and maybe a Ukalalie, depending on how causually you can learn and play them. Then I will have everything I need to live my dream of becoming a homeless and talentless busker. Nobody can dislike a guy with a Ukalalie.
Whelp, I'm off (without actually moving) to find out about Ukalalies. Ta ta for the momento, may the wind remain ever your faithful compainion.
Dave.
Saturday, 24 July 2010
System overload.
said metaphorical overload being that in quite the opposite of the norm, I haven't blogged in a few days, and too many things to remember have happened. One of the things I was thinking about blogging for a while was that I was going to go a pee pee in the forest, and then I was like 'maybe not, I'm nearly home', and then two really small girls walked by. God is good, and consequently, I don't have a restraining order. Something which I am also desperate to update you all on, but only have been for the last five hours, is that my mummy and dad bought me an ipod shuffle on pretty much the spur of the moment as a early birthday present to stop me getting bored on this engineering course I'm off too on Monday. What I love most is that she was all ready to be like 'so it's not that great, I'm aware that I'm not a good enough mother' and the like, when the reality was that she had bought me like the best ipod in exsitence without really realising, and that she is the best mumsy ever. Once aware of this, she satisfied herself my apologising for the inferior quality of the shiny cool ipod dock, radio and alarm clock she had also purchased. That woman confuses me.
Notice, if you will, the new poll that's been cyber glued to the page. Please use it to make me feel better about myself, because sometimes it keeps me up nights thinking that my creative talent is being sown onto barren ground, and that this truly is a deserted ghost blog.
Notice, if you will, the new poll that's been cyber glued to the page. Please use it to make me feel better about myself, because sometimes it keeps me up nights thinking that my creative talent is being sown onto barren ground, and that this truly is a deserted ghost blog.
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Just the two of us...
By which I mean the two of you. You better be reading this stuff. This Wednesday was pretty much exactly the same as last wednesday, so there is still nothing which warrants my new word 'edacious'. Admittedly, it's not all that unheard of, but Andy Lovell, my volcabulary hero, reprised it from my twice removed memory, that being when you remember stuff, but you know you would never have remembered it again of your own accord. All this said though, I'm not too confident on Andy's use of the word vernacular, and I'm not afraid to challenge him their, despite his stature in the wordsmith heirachy.
Me and Ruth (mostly Ruth) made the cool lady who goes to friendship hour a guitar cake, becuase she accidentally asked us for one, and then apologised when she realised. Happily, however, she still took the cake.
I did windsurfing again today, and learnt to steer a little bit whilst moving. I'm in such a lathargic, water-clogged stupor that I keep forgetting what it was I was doing just an hour ago, but if was definetely windsurfing.
Whelp, sorry for the lack of excitment, you're worth more as my adoring fan base, but I'm tired and need beauty sleep for my big finale as 'GLD' tommorow. Hope to see you guys there. Preeeow.
P.S I finished this, and looked at some other blogs. Literally every other blog in existence apart from mine is stupidly boring, and google keeps giving me blogs about christianity, but only the lame kind. Probably becuase they hacked into my soul and scanned my religion with their demon cookies. But seriously, if all the other blogs are terrible, why isn't mine famous already? Does blogging slowly deteriorate you into an extreme of extrovert christianity, or the delusion that everyone cares about the most trivial of things in your life? I think I'm slipping towards the latter.
Me and Ruth (mostly Ruth) made the cool lady who goes to friendship hour a guitar cake, becuase she accidentally asked us for one, and then apologised when she realised. Happily, however, she still took the cake.
I did windsurfing again today, and learnt to steer a little bit whilst moving. I'm in such a lathargic, water-clogged stupor that I keep forgetting what it was I was doing just an hour ago, but if was definetely windsurfing.
Whelp, sorry for the lack of excitment, you're worth more as my adoring fan base, but I'm tired and need beauty sleep for my big finale as 'GLD' tommorow. Hope to see you guys there. Preeeow.
P.S I finished this, and looked at some other blogs. Literally every other blog in existence apart from mine is stupidly boring, and google keeps giving me blogs about christianity, but only the lame kind. Probably becuase they hacked into my soul and scanned my religion with their demon cookies. But seriously, if all the other blogs are terrible, why isn't mine famous already? Does blogging slowly deteriorate you into an extreme of extrovert christianity, or the delusion that everyone cares about the most trivial of things in your life? I think I'm slipping towards the latter.
Monday, 19 July 2010
Come on...
By which I mean: 'come on adoring blog followers, and follow my blog; come on, complete strangers who stumble to this page and begin to care about my daily doings. I don't even have daily doings! Look at me! Look at what I've done to myself! I'm just a shambles sitting at home, doing nothing, and then trying to make paragraphs out of it. It's like being sick when you haven't eaten anything. Admittedly, Claire just said she'd join my blog becuase it was so good, but the point still stands. I mean, I'm not going to stop blogging, it's habitual, and something you pledge allegiance to against all odds. It's a journey, one of hoplessness and despair, and the destination of which is shrouded in a fog of doubt and confusiong, but it's journey none the less, and I'm glad to have you two with me. I hope one day people will read that and laugh, becuase of how hugely many people follow me, so that I can become a symbol of hope, if only for it's own sake and no other purpose. Besides, if a war or something cool happens, I'll be like the next Anne Frank, only not a girl, and probably not even writing about anything historically relevant. Well, problem solved. I guess there is some strange purpose to this blogging game, but yet a part of me still feels I strung even that to give me something to write about. Oh the vicious circles!
Long paragraph. Anyways, today I went to Harlow climbing wall, but it was a monday afternoon, and I had no harness, so I pretty much just sat alone in a bouldering room about twice the size of a portaloo and pretended I could climb a V3 for two hours. It was all a bit eerie, but mostly just boring.
But, just now, I went to Jonny Lovell's birthday, which involved no main course and twice the desert, cracking mental jokes with blokey blokes, and best of all, Jonny himself dancing to the phantom of the opera for about five minutes straight. He's an inspiration.
As pessimistic a note as it is to end on, I just had a dire thought. What if no one can be bothered? What if nobody is even reading my questions and comments on nobody reading this. Oh well. I shall leave my mark in history. Yes, the blogging scene is definetely for me.
Long paragraph. Anyways, today I went to Harlow climbing wall, but it was a monday afternoon, and I had no harness, so I pretty much just sat alone in a bouldering room about twice the size of a portaloo and pretended I could climb a V3 for two hours. It was all a bit eerie, but mostly just boring.
But, just now, I went to Jonny Lovell's birthday, which involved no main course and twice the desert, cracking mental jokes with blokey blokes, and best of all, Jonny himself dancing to the phantom of the opera for about five minutes straight. He's an inspiration.
As pessimistic a note as it is to end on, I just had a dire thought. What if no one can be bothered? What if nobody is even reading my questions and comments on nobody reading this. Oh well. I shall leave my mark in history. Yes, the blogging scene is definetely for me.
Friday, 16 July 2010
A dilema.
The eponymous dilema being: what do you write in a blog about your day, when your day was not really anything to write about? The highlight of the day has to be me and Ruth telling Mum that some music was Phil Collins, and then her asking if we were sure about 15 minutes into it. It was daft punk.
Basically, my day has consisted of me altruisticly fullfiling the tedious duty which my mother compiled into a list stuck on the fridge this morning, all in preparation for a barbeque which is happening now as I type. To be honest, I'm clearly a fantastic person, because I've toiled all day for the sake of a barbeque which is about as dry as the charcoal we're using to cook it, just because I so much love my mummy. It's days like these that I pine for the Xbox, and begin to resent my father's favourable position in the current stalemate. However, putting it behind for the moment is the best thing to do, because nobody wants anything getting inbetween how cool my dad is and how much we think he's nang, so for the sake of staying on good terms, we're leaving the scandal mostly under wraps.
So, that's about it. Everyone's making there way of for holidays, the internet will dry up like an old well, those regular emailing fans will cease their contact, long lost friends will be lost truly for a couple of months, and of course, in a week or two even this blog will be put on hold. I'm a little tired, and I've got that thing where I get all sentimental and reflective from listening to too much Nat King Cole. Anyways, the laughter from downstairs becons, the party awaits.
Basically, my day has consisted of me altruisticly fullfiling the tedious duty which my mother compiled into a list stuck on the fridge this morning, all in preparation for a barbeque which is happening now as I type. To be honest, I'm clearly a fantastic person, because I've toiled all day for the sake of a barbeque which is about as dry as the charcoal we're using to cook it, just because I so much love my mummy. It's days like these that I pine for the Xbox, and begin to resent my father's favourable position in the current stalemate. However, putting it behind for the moment is the best thing to do, because nobody wants anything getting inbetween how cool my dad is and how much we think he's nang, so for the sake of staying on good terms, we're leaving the scandal mostly under wraps.
So, that's about it. Everyone's making there way of for holidays, the internet will dry up like an old well, those regular emailing fans will cease their contact, long lost friends will be lost truly for a couple of months, and of course, in a week or two even this blog will be put on hold. I'm a little tired, and I've got that thing where I get all sentimental and reflective from listening to too much Nat King Cole. Anyways, the laughter from downstairs becons, the party awaits.
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Daily Shmaily
this is good stuff, and it's dailyish. Besides, not a whole lot happened in the last two / three days. Ruth decided to cancel the blog competition, solely on the grounds that I'm so much cooler than her, and my musical incompetency cost a complete stranger 20 quid, because she asked me to tell her what a song was, and if I knew it she would win a 20 pound bet with her sister. The song was numb by Linkin Park. She lost her money. Still, I like to put aside my guilt in this area by consolling myself that she probably just made the whole thing up to talk to my goodlooking self, because sometimes self delusion is the best alternative to reality. Quite often, in fact, when it comes to how good looking I am, how much I attract the ladies and the like. In fact, about five minutes after the incident, reality kicked in when a rather large drunk woman in a bikini which, to say the least, did not suit her figure mistook me for one of her friends, who I think was a girl called 'Avy'.
We lost kitten for about five hours today, and then he just turned up on the stairs. He's probably some multidimensional being that just looks like a kitten, and radiates potent levels of cuteness.
If it's any consolation, the reason I've not been keeping this up is because I always try and leave it till the last minute to squeeze in all the things of the day, but at the moment I always end up watching black books before going to bed quite late. So should you, because you'll find yourself staggering around giggling in your head, and sometimes actually saying 'I'm sorry, I ate your bees.'
Also, today is karate, where I learn now to beat up seven year olds and old people in a class of mixed ages and abilities. Another fantastic and uneconomicaly substitute for the virtual glory of our much missed home entertainment system. Video games, I pine for you!
We lost kitten for about five hours today, and then he just turned up on the stairs. He's probably some multidimensional being that just looks like a kitten, and radiates potent levels of cuteness.
If it's any consolation, the reason I've not been keeping this up is because I always try and leave it till the last minute to squeeze in all the things of the day, but at the moment I always end up watching black books before going to bed quite late. So should you, because you'll find yourself staggering around giggling in your head, and sometimes actually saying 'I'm sorry, I ate your bees.'
Also, today is karate, where I learn now to beat up seven year olds and old people in a class of mixed ages and abilities. Another fantastic and uneconomicaly substitute for the virtual glory of our much missed home entertainment system. Video games, I pine for you!
Saturday, 10 July 2010
Miss me?
Hopefully, you'll forgive me for missing a couple of days, just to keep you on edge. To be honest, little changed. The kitten is still stupidly cute, and I think I can safely confirm that the condition is stable. I mean, he's like 'miaw' and stuff. Besides, he climbed a tree, and was just stonkingly cute. It dissapoints me that the society we live in milk the money out of this just as much as every other great thing. I almost bought a small kitten tent today, but my mother told me not to, becuase she is clever, and knows that people know you'll just buy it becuase you picture kitten in the tent, and it's cute, but the thing is that kitten is always cute. I still wish he had a little tent though.
The whole Xbox thing is becoming rather cool, despite that my dad's opinion has little changed. I doubt anyone would hugely appreciate me sharing the intimate and delicate affairs of my family with the public, but basically, even if we don't get the Xbox back for a while / ever, we're going to be doing the the most ridiculous array of activities, such as windsurfing, ballroom dancing, and best of all (and as is typical, least likely to happen of all) kendo, which is attacking people with sticks and calling it a skill, and the closest thing to learing how to use a duel bladed lightsabre in real life. So basically, instead of taking away the Xbox and leaving us until our boredome drives us to find more activities, we are pumping our lives with so much cool stuff that we have no desire for any form of virtual escape. Of course, there's always room in my life for a bit of videogames, but just as much as there is for beating people into unconsciousness with wooden poles.
In recent, and more tragic news, cereal abuser Izzie Keane was accused of assualting Brian Darkly, Spoon Overlord. It's a hard time for Brian, who was said to have been rubbed repeatedly into his abusers face. Brian is now safe and with his loved ones, but we regret to inform you that his assualter still roams free. More tommorrow at whenever.
The whole Xbox thing is becoming rather cool, despite that my dad's opinion has little changed. I doubt anyone would hugely appreciate me sharing the intimate and delicate affairs of my family with the public, but basically, even if we don't get the Xbox back for a while / ever, we're going to be doing the the most ridiculous array of activities, such as windsurfing, ballroom dancing, and best of all (and as is typical, least likely to happen of all) kendo, which is attacking people with sticks and calling it a skill, and the closest thing to learing how to use a duel bladed lightsabre in real life. So basically, instead of taking away the Xbox and leaving us until our boredome drives us to find more activities, we are pumping our lives with so much cool stuff that we have no desire for any form of virtual escape. Of course, there's always room in my life for a bit of videogames, but just as much as there is for beating people into unconsciousness with wooden poles.
In recent, and more tragic news, cereal abuser Izzie Keane was accused of assualting Brian Darkly, Spoon Overlord. It's a hard time for Brian, who was said to have been rubbed repeatedly into his abusers face. Brian is now safe and with his loved ones, but we regret to inform you that his assualter still roams free. More tommorrow at whenever.
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
2 followers!
Okay, I know the whole blogging thing isn't about the followers, but who am I kidding, it totally is. Even more epically, the social waters are simmering between me and Ruth, who word has it is planning to set up a parallel blog and have a blog off. She may have the advantage of going to uni and leaving loads of friends who will want to stay updated, but who cares? This stuff is liquid gold, and pretty soon we'll be crashing the servers with a least several jillions of follow guys. Besides, my adoring female fans frequently inform me (despite my protests that it makes no sense) that I have 'cute grammar'.
In the struggle to regain the Xbox, literally nothing has happened. The house reeks of boredom, which wafts from the awkward silence which oozes about the house. Stay tuned for updates. I did also actually buy Assasin's Creed 2, partially becuase I am an idiot, and also because I am an idiot. Other than this, I'm pretty sure dad can't hold out forever. That said, I have know him to hold out for a long time, but eventually death will put an end to his reign, (just to clarify, this is not something I look forward to in any manner), and I shall finally play once again. Apparently anyone who takes the console to uni doesn't get university fees, and I'd love to argue, but he's the one with the university fees.
Tell you what's entertaining: voicing the thoughts of your kittens toy and begging for mercy. That guy's a saveage.
In recent news, I'm still as fantastically good looking as I was yesterday. Which is a lot.
In the struggle to regain the Xbox, literally nothing has happened. The house reeks of boredom, which wafts from the awkward silence which oozes about the house. Stay tuned for updates. I did also actually buy Assasin's Creed 2, partially becuase I am an idiot, and also because I am an idiot. Other than this, I'm pretty sure dad can't hold out forever. That said, I have know him to hold out for a long time, but eventually death will put an end to his reign, (just to clarify, this is not something I look forward to in any manner), and I shall finally play once again. Apparently anyone who takes the console to uni doesn't get university fees, and I'd love to argue, but he's the one with the university fees.
Tell you what's entertaining: voicing the thoughts of your kittens toy and begging for mercy. That guy's a saveage.
In recent news, I'm still as fantastically good looking as I was yesterday. Which is a lot.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
For Cereal...
I'm actually doing this. I mean, three days straight (although not technically, as it's one in the morning) is pretty darn impressive. Oh, and a big hello to Duncan Tarrrant, who has publicly confirmed how great he is by signing up/ in / following this blog.
Just to update you all, ('you all' - I love it), my kitten is still stonkingly adorable, even if he has OCD about burrying his poo in his litter tray. On a similar note, ECC's frienship hour remains the absolutely nangest thing going for people over 60. No joke, I help out at the most live pensioners social in the history of ever. I mean, it's just gone from jammin' Israeli jigs to full out garden parties, and is the sole driver of my desire to obtain recordings of said music.
My dad remains uncompromising in his obscure battle to ban the family Xbox forever. Today we wired a laptop into the T.V just to watch a D.V.D, and he literally said nothing. In fact, aside from telling me what he'd done, he hasn't at all mentioned the incident. Either he feels that we have all succumed to his authority, or he's actually forgotten. I eagerly await the hypothetical 'family discussion'. That said, I don't thing I've really expressed any opinion on the issue myself, becuase when I found out I was like "Right, that's great, because I have over the holidays school work and stuff", in a stupid attempt to make myself look adult and mature. I feel a little bad now, but I don't mean to whine about my dad publically and behind his back, becuase he is for the most part tremendously wise and stonkingly cool, hence I love the man to bits. It's just that I desire to cast the burdens of the day away, and free my thoughts into the spacious virtual realm.
Speaking of casting burdens, one of the dyspraxia highlights of my day has got to be at friendship hour, when we were singing 'Cast you burdens unto Jesus', and someone asked what the action for casting was. After that, I kind of started thinking about casting in general, and it's many meanings, and Half Life's Vortiguants, which, in a stupendous display of lack of social awareness, led to me to loudly punctuate the song by exclaiming 'Gal Garem Garhhhllechk Gash', and the like. Has anything ever been more nerdy and disabled?
The kitten has stolen Ruth's insulin pen, which I feel could be a genuine attempt to kill her.
Just to update you all, ('you all' - I love it), my kitten is still stonkingly adorable, even if he has OCD about burrying his poo in his litter tray. On a similar note, ECC's frienship hour remains the absolutely nangest thing going for people over 60. No joke, I help out at the most live pensioners social in the history of ever. I mean, it's just gone from jammin' Israeli jigs to full out garden parties, and is the sole driver of my desire to obtain recordings of said music.
My dad remains uncompromising in his obscure battle to ban the family Xbox forever. Today we wired a laptop into the T.V just to watch a D.V.D, and he literally said nothing. In fact, aside from telling me what he'd done, he hasn't at all mentioned the incident. Either he feels that we have all succumed to his authority, or he's actually forgotten. I eagerly await the hypothetical 'family discussion'. That said, I don't thing I've really expressed any opinion on the issue myself, becuase when I found out I was like "Right, that's great, because I have over the holidays school work and stuff", in a stupid attempt to make myself look adult and mature. I feel a little bad now, but I don't mean to whine about my dad publically and behind his back, becuase he is for the most part tremendously wise and stonkingly cool, hence I love the man to bits. It's just that I desire to cast the burdens of the day away, and free my thoughts into the spacious virtual realm.
Speaking of casting burdens, one of the dyspraxia highlights of my day has got to be at friendship hour, when we were singing 'Cast you burdens unto Jesus', and someone asked what the action for casting was. After that, I kind of started thinking about casting in general, and it's many meanings, and Half Life's Vortiguants, which, in a stupendous display of lack of social awareness, led to me to loudly punctuate the song by exclaiming 'Gal Garem Garhhhllechk Gash', and the like. Has anything ever been more nerdy and disabled?
The kitten has stolen Ruth's insulin pen, which I feel could be a genuine attempt to kill her.
Monday, 5 July 2010
Back for more?
Probably not, in reality, as some how I doubt the three facebook friends who read the first post will be so captivated as to pledge allegiance to my daily dronings.
Anyways, seeing as you're here, although perhaps only hypothetically, I shall continue regardless.
Today was the Davenant Sixth form orientation, and all went well, other than some quota-filling beurocrat deciding that if all our teacher gave us work for the summer, we would clearly become hugely better at independent study, and therefore be better at sixth form. In a shocking display of cruel irony, while I was out collecting all these assignments, my sister failing to hear the door knocker resulted in my father removing the power cable of the Xbox, quite patronisingly and without any consultation, thus depriving me of beutiful, pointless relaxation in the upcoming week, and replacing it with the most dreary and pointless of essays and the like.
I realise now that I write a lot on this old thing, and I thought about cutting back, but then I was like 'no. This is good stuff'. I'm not really sure that this is good stuff, or even partially decent stuff, but it made me feel better. Besides, this fills time, which is something I'm going to have plenty of now. I have decided to actually get people to call me 'GLD' [see 'about blog', or something of the like], but I doubt I will succeed in this plight, save for a few converts who are taking to it quite heartily, and one person who is agreeing to it solely on the understanding that I don't bring up a particular girl in reference to them being attracted to said girl. They aren't even attracted to said girl, so their annoyance bewilders me, but I'm cool with being called GLD. Eat up, my ever hungrier and more deluded ego.
Anyways, seeing as you're here, although perhaps only hypothetically, I shall continue regardless.
Today was the Davenant Sixth form orientation, and all went well, other than some quota-filling beurocrat deciding that if all our teacher gave us work for the summer, we would clearly become hugely better at independent study, and therefore be better at sixth form. In a shocking display of cruel irony, while I was out collecting all these assignments, my sister failing to hear the door knocker resulted in my father removing the power cable of the Xbox, quite patronisingly and without any consultation, thus depriving me of beutiful, pointless relaxation in the upcoming week, and replacing it with the most dreary and pointless of essays and the like.
I realise now that I write a lot on this old thing, and I thought about cutting back, but then I was like 'no. This is good stuff'. I'm not really sure that this is good stuff, or even partially decent stuff, but it made me feel better. Besides, this fills time, which is something I'm going to have plenty of now. I have decided to actually get people to call me 'GLD' [see 'about blog', or something of the like], but I doubt I will succeed in this plight, save for a few converts who are taking to it quite heartily, and one person who is agreeing to it solely on the understanding that I don't bring up a particular girl in reference to them being attracted to said girl. They aren't even attracted to said girl, so their annoyance bewilders me, but I'm cool with being called GLD. Eat up, my ever hungrier and more deluded ego.
Sunday, 4 July 2010
Welcome, you wonderful lucky people.
The more I think about this, the more I think I'll be like one of those types who writes on a blog, and doesn't really have it read at all, but it's cool because I should write more anyway. Today is a good day for starting a blog, I just finished all the GCSE shibaz a couple of weeks ago, so today is a good day for doing just about anything. In short, today is a good day.
Since I am new to the whole blogging palava, (don't you just love how much that sounds like pavlova? N.B - Use it more often) I'll just state my current state of affairs. Possibly the latest and greatest headline in my existence is that I purchased a Nerf Night Finder, bolt action dart gun, and have developed an addiction over the last few weeks, whcih has led to the buying of 8 batteries and a Maverick semi-automatic. About 4 weeks and £20 later, I am a happy, if slightly deluded, man. I think the coolest thing about Nerf is the potential for playing Humans Versus Zombies at university. http://humansvszombies.org/ So far, there have only been four games in England from what I can gather, but the craze is coming, and I'll fight for the cause.
Speaking of zombies, I downloaded the trial of 'I MAED A GAME WITH ZOMBIES IN IT', and I'm compelled to get it. Somehow the addition of screaming riff driven infection surges, pixel worms, gooey amoebas and weird greey fuzz asteroids is exactly what the classic top down, dual stick zombie shooter needed. By the way, if you don't like zombies, a few of these posts could get a little boring.
I quite like this whole blogging thing. For one, it saves whenever I stop typing, which is worth experiencing just for the sake of the innovation, and for some more, I quite like the sound of my own voice, whether it be to reflect on recent occurences more consciously, or just to fill the silence in my head, which is probably a result of several days of doing very little other than Team Fortress 2 in the abscence of school. That said, I've been to my youth's - http://xlyouth.co.uk/ planning meeting, and plan to go to many more, partly becuase they land me in ammatuer movies where I get to pretend I am stonkingly attractive and sporty, and partly so that I can say 'I'm an important man, I go to planing meetings' whenever I deem neccesary.
All in all, I think that's not a bad first post. Maybe I'll become some minor blogging celebrity, except I'm not sure those actually exist. Still, there's a first for everything. Watch out, Steven Fry and the intellectual likes of your satirical possy. GLD is on the rise.
Since I am new to the whole blogging palava, (don't you just love how much that sounds like pavlova? N.B - Use it more often) I'll just state my current state of affairs. Possibly the latest and greatest headline in my existence is that I purchased a Nerf Night Finder, bolt action dart gun, and have developed an addiction over the last few weeks, whcih has led to the buying of 8 batteries and a Maverick semi-automatic. About 4 weeks and £20 later, I am a happy, if slightly deluded, man. I think the coolest thing about Nerf is the potential for playing Humans Versus Zombies at university. http://humansvszombies.org/ So far, there have only been four games in England from what I can gather, but the craze is coming, and I'll fight for the cause.
Speaking of zombies, I downloaded the trial of 'I MAED A GAME WITH ZOMBIES IN IT', and I'm compelled to get it. Somehow the addition of screaming riff driven infection surges, pixel worms, gooey amoebas and weird greey fuzz asteroids is exactly what the classic top down, dual stick zombie shooter needed. By the way, if you don't like zombies, a few of these posts could get a little boring.
I quite like this whole blogging thing. For one, it saves whenever I stop typing, which is worth experiencing just for the sake of the innovation, and for some more, I quite like the sound of my own voice, whether it be to reflect on recent occurences more consciously, or just to fill the silence in my head, which is probably a result of several days of doing very little other than Team Fortress 2 in the abscence of school. That said, I've been to my youth's - http://xlyouth.co.uk/ planning meeting, and plan to go to many more, partly becuase they land me in ammatuer movies where I get to pretend I am stonkingly attractive and sporty, and partly so that I can say 'I'm an important man, I go to planing meetings' whenever I deem neccesary.
All in all, I think that's not a bad first post. Maybe I'll become some minor blogging celebrity, except I'm not sure those actually exist. Still, there's a first for everything. Watch out, Steven Fry and the intellectual likes of your satirical possy. GLD is on the rise.
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