About Me

Hey look it's my blog. It boasts features such as a garishly unprofessional custom colour scheme and hugely irregular updates. It is a personal autobiography that exists more for the sake of its writer than its readers. There are many hats and cats involved, and Batman gets his fair share. Basically it's great and everyone should read it. Please care about me and think that I'm cool.

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Hyperlink No-jutsu!

New PostEdit PostsEdit PagesThe thoughts, words,
Preview
and thoughtless ...View BlogDashboard
Save NowMonetiseDesignStats

Nope, blogger has not broken, I currently write you from the Gall residence in Lincoln, where the the XL's very own fire academy possy is doing its 'vangelical thing, preaching to the masses out here at ECC Lincoln, which is opposite their corresponding 'Bridge community venue'.  I find that pretty freaky, because my old home church is ECC, and now I go to the bridge, both much closer to home.  Word of the day is Mc'Vangelism, a neologism that is the work of yours truly.  It's pretty self explanatory really, evangelising in Mc'D's. Crazy stuff. 

By way of an explanation for you poor, confused people, the ridiculous array of links is because it would appear that Mozilla Firefox allows you to drag links from page to page and place to place, and drop them wherever the heck you like.  It's like I'm the king of the internet, and I'm destroying and rebuilding things at the same time. 

Speaking of destroying and rebuilding, check this out.  Okay, so it's not the coolest thing, in fact it's not even marginally cool, but yet... it is the coolest.  I'm not going to pretend I'm not incredibly nerdy on my own blog.  In modern day society, I tend to hold things together and not just rant about cool stuff, but all the same, I'd like you to understand that I could just joy-rave about this thing.  It's just huge raw pixels, which you destroy with your bare, square hands, and they you use the blocks to build stuff, to destroy more stuff.  The purpose of the whole thing is to explore a place and then completely destroy and rearrange it in order to obtain the resources needed to keep the ironic cycle going.  Did I mention zombies, plus other generic night beasties which come crawling out at night?  Anyways, I have slipped already into an avid description which I fear I will not stop, and I don't want you people realising how uncool I actually am.  (P.S, big shout out to Joni Blyth, who introduced me to this masterpiece.)

Apparently, football is great at the moment, some poor people absolutely thrashed a really rich team, and it was beautiful.  Good old football.

I have decided that you can tell how spiritual/ powerful/ nang and life impacting a mission is not only by the impact you have on the people around you, but also by the amount that you bleed.  Yesterday, David Owusu took a chunk of my hand out in a horrific, bizarre and slightly self-inflicted accident; today I had a good piece of my knuckle chipped out by John Elman's vicious air hockey antics.  Other fantastic instances are like in mission Slovakia 2008, when I restled Jonny Abraham from 4-1 down to 4 all, and then stopped because I could wrestle no more, and staggered round Partizanske Tescos bruised, bleeding and drinking pineapple yoghurt.  And yes, I am just liking things becuase it makes me feel good. 

This is service bird alpha two, signing out. 

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Captain Hench!

This should be my new superhero name; this week I have:
- Scared away that mean cat that comes in the garden to intimidate him. (For which he uber loved me)
- Given life guidance to some really irritating small people who were complete strangers
- Competed in a climbing competition, and set a trend by way of method on this one particular boulder
- Taught Ava Keane to say 'We all love Dave.'

Upon any level of inspection, all these things are admirable and manly.  This got me to thinking: 'What is manliness?'  A good question indeed.

On the one level, manliness is a raw, unrefined henchness, and a desire to tear people apart to protect your loved ones, or just because you're really mad.  Classic examples include Gimley from Lord of the Rings saying 'And my axe!', The Heavy from Team Fortress 2 killing people whilst laughing manically, and that guy in The Last of the Mohicans who says 'Stay alive.  Whatever happens, I will find you!'  (that last one slips a little into other forms of manliness as well).  This is the kind of manliness that is what you have to channel to do a really hard thing in a climbing competition, when you go 'Gh-aerr!' and do something really physically demanding that completely murks your stamina.  That is manliness in its purest form, it is without motive, but is merely an iron will with no direction, chanelled by whatever means seems most impressive and demanding at the time.

Another level of manliness is the whole 'protecting your loved ones' type.  So, for example, that thing above where he says he will find her (he does, but then they all die), or in Lord of the Rings (just finished watching it - manly film) when that guy dies and Arragon just goes beserk, but without compromising skill, and kills about a bragillion Orcs.  Completely off topic, why do the Orc archers never shoot when it's most convenient, apart from that one part in number one where they kill that guy, and why are stampeding horses completely unnaffected by the whole 'wall of spears' thing?  Anyways, I showed this kind of manliness when I strutted up to that big, ugly old cat and was like: 'hey mangy hair face, get off Cid's patch!'  He ran away, and Cid was just really happy with me, so he was all rubbing his face on me.  (Off topic again, the things I have had rubbing their faces on me out of affection in my life time are: cats, dogs, rabbits and girls.  Seriously)  Back to that thing that we were talking about just now - that is another great form of manliness, because although that cat was obviously going to run away, and I didn't even get the oportunity to kick / maim it, it was manly because I stood up for the oppressed, and took a hit for the pack, which is what men do.

Telling kids about how much they are lame is quite manly, but more just fun.  I educated these complete strangers of about year 8 age on the topics of Japanese culture, being not confrontational, not using 'gay' as an insult and not being jerks who are always looking for a fight.  They were seriously confrontational, they kept making fun of me (in the most ridiculously childish and hillarious ways) in front of all my friends, and then he kept almost hitting me and being like 'why you scared?'  I think he was a bit confused by the experience of meeting someone who didn't want to hit him for a change.  This was not, strictly, the case, but I let him believe it.

Teaching Ava to say 'We all love Dave' is in hindsight, not very manly.  But it was quite fun.  So far, all I have imparted, over the course of a few car journeys, into that childs life is how to say how much everyone loves me, how to spud someone, say the word gun and (my personal favourite) fully load and fire a six barrel, semi-automatic Maverick.

Also, I had the thought of busking in London with a license today.  The things I require are:
1. Electric Kazoo
2. Busking licences being free
3. A lack of people who want to beat me up.

I might find something to replace that education thing at the bottom.  If those people want laptops, they could at least put together a working gadget.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

As promised!

Well, due to the procrastination which writes its own long story on this website, all the people who actually were caring enough to check me repping my blog didn't actually see any fresh updates.

In recent David Lovell happening:
- Ironing really fast is on the agenda, to make an electric kazoo from a dream into a reality, with money points earned from said activity.
- Ironing and Hummbuckers are on the Agenda because me and Mr. Glover are entering the battle of the bands at Davenant.  We are going to win, we just aren't sure how yet.  But you watch.  Also, it's not like the other bands, where I cruise with someone dragging my weight who has talent.  David Glover is probably less musically talented than me, which means that this time it's serious.
- Chingford lane is definetely a hill.  No matter what anybody says.
- I am wearing my future shades.  The batteries have run out.

Also in the list of things I am doing now (along with changing the format of the copy into non-bulleted) is thinking about going to a climbing competition this weekend at the reach.  It's really cool because for every climb you do, you get entered into a draw, so the more climbs you do, the more likely you are to win cool climbing things.  There are also prizes for craziest dressed and the like, so I think I'll just go shirtless, because that's what you do when the climbing gets serious.  Awoo!

For my next paragraph, I would like to just talk about how much I love climbing.  I did again it today, and it is still the manliest thing ever.  What could be more badman than going up, when the rules clearly state that we are mean to go along?  And then just finding, designing and perfecting the hardest way to go up, just to show everyone how unnecessarily hench and clever you are.

Second in the list of things which are still amazing is Litlang.  We have a massive glossary of big words, and I love big words.  One we learned the other day was politeness markers, which are words like 'hmmm', 'yes' and 'uh-huh'(I once got marks for doing this really deliberately in a speaking and listening task).
The other day, my mother was talking about how I converse with her mostly in politness markers.  I was watching something innane and pointless on youtube, so I said 'hmmm'.

As a side / ending note, to this quite small and not hugely exciting post, I'm getting heavily into 'Tokyo Drift'.  I need iTunes money.  elligible girls know how I feel.  Daily spec I keeps the deal.  I aint a China man 'cause I aint from China man, I am Japaaan maan!

This reminds me, Japanese with Mr. Brock wasn't on today.  Kore wa nan desu ka? 

O yasumi na sai.

Friday, 8 October 2010

Title?

blog titles are hard to think of, especially when the main focus of your entry is always nothing in particular. I promise I'll probably never do that again.


Me and Ruth haven't watched Red vs. Blue in a while, but the other day we had a huge conversation on Skype (if you could call it that) that consisted in it's entirity of me spamming her with crazy youtube videos and trivia to do with Team Fortress 2.  My personal favourites are 'Heavy is Woman' and 'Intelligent Heavy fills in for Engineer'.  I can assure you that these will not be your personal favourites, and you are probably too normal and unerdy to be at all entertained by them.  Ruth thought that they were great.  Also, did you know that the Engineer has several Phd's, but despite this, the soldier accuses him of illiteracy?  Of course you didn't, you ignorant buffoon. 
 
Unfortunately, I can't write about my most hated facebook group this week, because I am updating this bad boy from school.  I've also decided that I'll probably not do that weekly, becuase you can't fight hatred and pessimsism with hatred and pessimism, unless you have a gun, and I do not.  Besides, facebook will never die, not even the annoying parts of it.  
 
Speaking of guns, and my not having one, there are these cool people on youtube who make actual hidden blades just like the ones from Assasin's Creed, but if I had one, I would get arrested, and probably kill someone by accident.  However, if I had one with no blade, but with one of those nifty tasers on it, I could just knock people out instantaneously without any trouble, and be a badman vigilante.  This excites me, because although it will never happen, it is the most feasible of all my awesome ideas, and is technically possible. 
 
My new hero is William Wallace, a man who got annoyed and decided to kill loads of people.  You don't push a man like that.  I mean, the whole of the movie Braveheart is just people getting killed by other people, and it's so great that I don't even care if they're English and getting killed by the Scottish.  From, what I can gather, we're still oppresing them today to some extenent, so I'm cool with it if they want to have a barbaric rampage every now and again.  Especially with ridiculously large, ridiculously square hammers and six foot swords.  I wish we'd get invaded, so we could have an uprising and kill oppressors, and defend our homes and women and the manly like.  Or maybe a zombie apocalypse.  This generation does need a good war or outbreak of flesh hungry mutants to put it in shape, but if it doesn't happen, could we just make one up and conspire as a nation to tell all our decendants that it reallly happened.  It's like 1984: 'He who controls the present, controlls the past, and he who controlls the past controlls the future.'  It could be that someone has this idea ages ago, and that WWII was ficititious, which would be lovely thing to believe.
 
No, the reality is that it would be to hard to organise an entire nation and persuade them into fabricating an alternate past, and would probably be far easier to synthesise a zombie virus.  I'll start that immediately, the internet will know what to do.
 
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

It's gettin' trans-continental!

This is one of many (12) lines in Exponentials single they're working on which rhymes with the word exponential.  Also, it's quite reflective of how the whole 'stats' part of blogging makes it so much more addictive.  I mean, just knowing people are reading it makes me quite happy, and encourages me to throw in the occasional web link when I deem appropraite, but not too often, lest people get the impression I'm as desperate as I truly am.

Speaking of desperate, and me not being it, I have found out that there is a growing craze of several girls shouting 'David!', and hugging each other enthusiastically.  This is not a lie.  They seriously do this and seriously are reffering to me, the one and only G.L.D.  Some claim it's something to do with the way someone hugged me this one time or something, but I like to see beyond the obvious defence mechanism, and believe that all women are just exclaiming my name, as if to say 'Oh my days, he still really cool and desirable'.  Essentially, I am the common interest of all women, and cause them to unite in embrace.  Two counts as several, right?  Whatever.  Like I said, it's growing.

Being related to Jason Davies is uber cool, because I'm making my self a website, and he's helping me know how to put it on the line when the time comes.  He is pretty much the a walking modem.  I'm pretty sure he powers the internet.

Ruth is still at university, and we are still watching Red vs. Blue over skype by both pressing play at the same time.  I feel like now she's departed, I'm quickly taking her place as chief nerd here at Lovell HQ.  The way things are shaping up, it looks like we're going to be talking about coding, computers and internet treasures over the world wide web itself pretty much all the time we are conversing.

Oh yeah, my hatred of the phrase FML.  Basically, it's just a ridiculous thing to say about your entire life when the tiniest things happen, and the internet is just banging that same drug day after day.

Today's most hated facebook group of the [period of time between blogs] is:
 whoever said 'words can't hurt you' is clearly an idiot
admittedly, a slow day on the 'things I hate' front (as are all days, I'm a loving guy) but it's still just generically spreading the concept of people having been hurt / life sucking mentality.  Why hasn't someone made an optimistic facebook group, but not a cheesy one like 'Life is great!' or 'Join this if you love God!'.  On reflection, I don't think that there is any group name that would satisfy these criteria.  Optimism is the new naff.

Monday, 4 October 2010

Look out world!

Me and David Glover have started a band, and it is called 'The Exponential'.  Starting bands is really fun, and I have done it quite a lot.  Previous offences include:
-The Procrastinates (Me and Kai Hammond - the pun wasn't intended at the time, but the band has lived up to it, with zero albums, zero chart toppers, and a whopping zero actual songs.  I still think it counts as a band though, and to mark our three or four year aniversary, I think we should do some gigging at XLerate, hopefully with my electric kazoo.)
- The Double D's (Again, the pun wasn't intended, I only realised the next day.  It was only called that because it was me and Big Dave.  We actually made a song, which actually exsists on Josh Scott's laptop.  It was called 'Dobre Dobre' (good good) and featuerd me on Kazoo and Dave on acoustic guitar.

I think there were others, but they have been moved aside in my mind to make way for 'The Exponential', a white hot (and both white and hot separarately) rap based number, currently working on the music video 'The Trifle Syndicate', featuring M.C Specs (Banji Ajai)

I know it would be quite vain and self deluded to call this blog popular, but I see myself as both of those things, so I am going to anyway.  We had a reader on just ten minutes ago - I bet he's gutted.

To be frank, I'm not really sure why anybody really reads this - I mean essentially, it's a load of drivvle extracted from my utterly unexotic life, and with it's updates becoming rarer and rarer.  Maybe I should post some suicide threats around the place, then the whole internet would be here. 

Actually, they proabably would.  I'm noticing lately that the internet loves the concept of how much it thinks life sucks, as facebook groups such as 'I pretend to be ok and I keep a smile on my face but Inside Im dying'.  That's not a shared interest - it's a legitemate issue, and yet facebok keeps giving us the impression that it's what life is all about.  I have just decided, in my wisdom, to have a 'Most annoying facebook group of the month' competition, every time I update this bad boy, in which I will express my boring and old fashioned hatred of the groups that killed facebook. 

Maybe that's why all you crazy people come here, and pretend to care: because we all need something more than the innanities and sufferings of day to day life, livened up occasionally by girls making statuses about other people, or just arguing publicly on their walls.  I like to think that like flies to a cozy lantern, you are perhaps just a little drawn to this untouched shrine of positivity and colour, untouched by the raging social war which blackens the webpages surrounding it.  Or maybe you're just really bored.  Either's fine.

Next Week:  David Lovell rants briefly about the phrase 'FML' and how it is very silly.

Still no numbers rolling on that thing at the bottom of the screen.  Come on people, these laptops aren't just going to provide themselves! (which is kind of funny, because that's what I got the impression they were supposed to do when I got that thing.)